Boundaries - where are yours hiding?
Thanks to the last comment from Elizabeth, I was thinking boundaries would be a good topic this week. My cats are always a good example of boundaries. They lick each other, lay on each other and pretty much blur the boundaries daily. However, they do have limits and sometimes they try and test each other. They always stand up for themselves and make their preferences known to each other. Most people on the other hand struggle to do this effectively. In my personal experience, I go mostly on the side of not having good enough boundaries. But some people struggle between too much and too little so often people around them don't know what to expect. Either way, it is always good to have healthy boundaries and enforce them for your self. You are in charge of your energy.
That being said, when I read boundary issues for people, it normally stems from childhood training. Either their parents didn't encourage them to have boundaries or down right made it a "bad" thing to have them. Or the parent, through example, taught that everyone needs major boundaries and not even the kids are allowed in to their personal space. I am not going to make a judgement on which is bad or good, but I can tell you, when I read boundary issues that are off balance... most people feel like they are stuck in patterns they don't want to continue in. They are ending up in bad relationships, engaging in conflicts at work, or even struggling with their kids.
Insightful Inspiration for the week
Check in with your boundaries this week. See if they are where you want them to be. Do you let people get into your space too much? This would look like doing things for people you don't really want to do. Feeling drained after going to parties, work or other gatherings of people. Maybe you are not getting what you need out of a relationship, but you don't feel permission to ask for it to be different.
Maybe you have up too many walls. This would look more like someone who is very aggressive (beyond assertive). Someone who keeps "secrets" from others because you don't trust them. Maybe you are ridged in your expectations of interaction with friends and family. You might even have a tendency to end relationships quickly and without opportunity to discuss it or bring about change.
See if you can rely on yourself to create boundaries that are more appropriate for you. Take notice where you are allowing the boundaries to be blurred. Allow it to be a positive experience rather than a "I need better boundaries" experience. Bring some fun and light to it all. "Ha! There I go again... silly me!' instead of "I am such a wimp, why don't I stand up for myself!"
Enjoy this process of growth. You are exactly where you need to be with it all!