I was in VitalHearts resiliency training this week. I highly recommend it to anyone who is in the healing fields themselves such as nursing, social work, etc. The concepts in it are practices I use and teach to my healing students already, presented in a very practical manner for the "typical" person. In this training, someone told a story about someone in her office trying to offer help that wasn't asked for, but they thought was needed. She asked this person if that person even wanted this type of help, and he said no, but she needed it. It inspired me to blog about it! We all do this, offering help we think people need it, not really asking if they even want our help. Maybe they don't want to change, or maybe they don't want to change the way we think they should want to. Yet we persist in our trying and resent them for not being able to accept our help.
Insightful Inspriation for the week
Check in with yourself. Are you offering someone help that isn't asking you for it. Are you trying to "fix" someone in a way that maybe they don't want to be fixed? Is it causing resentment? Notice what you are doing and try and release you need to help in this way. Offer help where you it is wanted and back off where it isn't. It is nothing personal, we are all just only ready for what we are ready for.
Maybe someone is even doing this to you. If this is happening to you, rather than by you (or both) maybe you need to gratefully thank them for their help, but inform them that you aren't interested in changing in the way they want you to.