Shushed and Shunned No More
As social creatures we learn from a very young age what is acceptable to our fellow humans and what isn’t. When we are children, we are taking in the world without filters – absorbing the patterns and thoughts of those around us. Our energy system begins to form and categorize our beliefs, which later shape our realities. We use our energy systems to form our lives through our vibrations. For more about this topic, read my blog about your energy bubble.
Where you grew up has a lot of influence on what you felt safe to express. The influence of the culture, religions, family and friends, and so much more, impact how you are able to access your authentic self verses the self you use to show the world who you are based on their standards.
Even as we go into adulthood we care what other people think, often to our detriment. I hear so many people say, “I am 50 years old, you would think I would stop caring what my crazy sister thinks.” But we do care.
We constantly shush and shun each other for things we find inappropriate. This is the only way we know how to get others to change their behavior, so we use it to tell each other what we want. But the message gets jumbled. The message that comes across is “you are bad” instead of “what you are doing is making me feel bad and I want you to stop.”
Is there a better way to set boundaries for ourselves and to no longer use shush and shuns to control others or be susceptible to being controlled by them? I am going to propose a new way of trying to be.
Balancing our energy field requires significant awareness of the masculine and feminine energies. Allowing them to have equal power in your space is critical to good health on all levels. As we continue this discussion, know that this energy in inside yourself, not outside.
Change your relationship with protection
Masculine energy is about boundaries within oneself. The ability to do what is right for the single person, despite what is happening around them. Masculine energy is the action-taker and decision-maker within us.
Because of our battle for equality, not just feminism, but just our right to be equal on all levels with each other, our ability to access our masculine and feminine energies have been jumbled. We view the need to be protected as a weakness. We don’t have a good relationship with what it means to honor and protect ourselves, not with fists and guns, but with shielding and removing ourselves from a situation.
The difference is like putting on bug spray because you don’t want to be bitten versus spraying the entire forest to kill every last bug. The latter is impractical and uses more energy than needed to get the desired results.
The balancing act
First, it is important to know that there is no good or bad masculine or feminine energy. Either can be expressed negatively, when things are out of balance, but it is normally from an incorrect relationship with the two energies, rather than one being worse than the other.
Next, you need to understand where you are currently. Are you balanced in your relationship with protection and vulnerability? Do you have a healthy relationship with the fragile side? Who did you learn this from? Is there a desire within you to change it?
Finally, you'll need to make peace with your ideas or "programs" about men and women, about what it means to be your gender. Releasing any victim energy (victim or victimizer) around each. Allowing you to acknowledge and redefine yourself in relation to these energies.
The healing work
Keep in mind that you are not healing the world with this work, just yourself, the relationship with masculine and feminine energies within your own system. You will shift the world by focusing on you.
Focus your attention on what is soft and gentle within you. How are you feeling as you focus on this? Can you soften your response and bring in more joy and love for these gentle sides of yourself? Use your body and emotions to bring awareness to your relationship with these sides of yourself.
Next, focus your attention on protecting yourself. Telling others "no" when you need to and leaving situations you find threatening. Can you soften your response and bring in more joy and love for these protective energies? Say thank you to the energy of protection and allow it to do its job.
As you bring this awareness to the forefront, notice how it plays out in your life. Notice who you feel more comfortable around and what energy they are using most. Use this information to create real change in how you interact with the world.
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It takes practice to change a habit, so give yourself space to play and learn about this shift.