The bank determines your creditworthiness via your credit score. Likewise, your BMI can put your overall health into perspective. A number between 18 and 25 means that, weight-wise, you’re in pretty good shape. Higher than that and you fall into the overweight range. Once your body mass index hits 30, you are officially considered obese. But you don’t have to let those numbers continue to climb—or scare you. Through a combination of wellness-focused activities, you can take control of your overall health and wellness and beat the scale into submission. Here are a few tips to get you started.Read More
Filtering by Category: Balance
Tap into yourself! Let your wisdom run deep and wide. Notice which parts of yourself you labeling as "bad" or "useless". Does it make sense that you are labeling it that way? What are you telling yourself is the reason for doing so? Look into those reasons. Can you play devils advocate and debunk them?
Try and see if you can open yourself up to a different perspective. Go through the energy centers this way and see if you can have them both at the same time, fully and completely, or does one get sacrificed for the other?Read More
The book, 365 Days of Happiness by Jacqueline Pirtle is filled with conversations, visualizations hints, tricks and fun little playtimes to have with your energy. If you have forgotten to have fun, this book can help you remember.Read More
Let's get real, no one goes through life without the sting of betrayal. It is part of the journey we are on. As you become more aware of the concept that you create your own reality, you must also take responsibility for everything you experience as something you have created.Read More
People get falsely lured into thinking that if you just know what is coming next, you will be okay and things will go well. Even if we can see the tidal waves coming, we can't always escape being swept away by them. In fact, if you can see them, the chances are you are going to get swept away by them.
Let me tell you quite bluntly, the fear of the unknown is holding you back. You don't have to wait for all things to be clear to trust your gut. You don't have to ask yourself what will be, you just have to look around and see what is.Read More
There is a huge pot of energy we are all drawing on at any given time and it is infinite and abundant. We just have to remember to open up how we receive things and not be so focused on one particular place or person because we think we have “earned it.”Read More
Have you been feeling the onset of professional burn out, wondering where all those 50-hour work weeks and personal sacrifice are getting you? Maybe you’re a team player but you’re just not sure if this is really what you want. A lot of people respond to this uncertainty by jumping ship and heading off to another employer in the same industry, perhaps making more money but failing to resolve their career angst. If this sounds like you, there may be another option, and you may not need to fine-tune the resume and hit the job trail.
If you can, think about pressing the “pause button” and take a career break by going on sabbatical for an extended period. It’s not for everyone, of course, but if you approach it in the right way, it can be life-changing. Also, don’t overlook the psychological and self-care benefits of getting away and resetting your perspective.
According to Oxford Living Dictionaries, it means “relating to or affecting the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.” Addressing this part of who you are is essential to moving forward in life with a full heart and freedom from doubt.
You don’t have to flee into the mountains to live in a cave while pondering the meaning of the universe, thank goodness. That sounds very unpleasant, and your family would never allow it, anyway. There’s an easier way: by making adjustments to your physical and mental health efforts to gain deeper insight into your connection with the world while nurturing your soul. Here are a few ideas that will help you on this important journey.
The term “self-care” is often misunderstood as being synonymous with selfishness. Many hardworking people who are no stranger to self-sacrifice find it hard to see where they could fit self-care into their lives while they’re trying to provide for others. But the truth is, not taking the time to take care of ourselves can lead to exhaustion and high amounts of stress, and it can strain our relationships. In other words, taking care of yourself helps you take care of others. Here are four self-care tips that will help you be the best version of yourself—both for yourself and for others.Read More
Often times people ask me, "Why the heck did I attract this? What could I possibly learn from this experience?" To that I always respond (generally with a giggle) "Oh so much!" And I am not just being optimistic.
Here are some tips to identify the root issues of your patterns.
Time is just another tool in your perceptual toolbox. Play around with various time keeping tools, blocking off times of day for specific tasks you might not otherwise felt you could get to. You will seem, all of the sudden you have time for that thing you never thought you would.Read More
What is healing anyway? Our relationship with the state of being unwell is often so uncomfortable that we can’t accept it. We criticize and blame ourselves and/or our conditions for making us unwell and focus all of our energy on understanding the problem. As we focus on the problem, we expand it. This expansion actually clarifies our desires through the reflection of what we don’t want. Sometimes we get stuck there. So how can we heal?Read More
Emotions seem to be the easiest thing to share amongst friends; it's almost like a virus. One person feels happy and passes on to the next and the next and so on. That is ideal... but not always how it goes.
More often one person in line is angry and yelling at the cashier which puts you in a "what is wrong with people?" mood which leads you to go home and yell at your kids, which makes them mad at the each other and so on. Emotions are contagious and the sooner we learn to recognize the difference between our emotions and the people we are with, the easier time we will have in knowing ourselves.
Empathy as a survival skill
Empathy is defined by dictionary.comas "the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." If you are experiencing the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another, how do you know you are acting in your own best interest and not the person you are empathizing with? If you are identifying with someone else's emotions and making decisions based on those emotions, they may not be right for you.
Empathy can be a survival skill. When we are born we can't talk yet and don't know much about the reality we have just arrived in. With this skill of empathy, we can read each others thoughts and emotions and make decisions on how we will engage with the environment.
"What am I really feeling?"
Things go off track when we don't know where our thoughts and feelings start and the other person's begin. We are always picking up on each other's energy in subtle ways. We feel each others state of mind and often change our behavior and feelings about the situation accordingly.
If you can begin to acknowledge when this sharing of energy is happening, you can begin to understand yourself more clearly and start setting new intentions. By paying attention to your ability to pick up on other people's thoughts and emotions, you begin to see when you are letting someone else's negativity win.
By becoming aware of how easily you change course based on what another person is doing or feeling you will be able to stop being a victim of others and empower yourself to dictate your mood and actions.
What mood are you bringing to the room?
It is also helpful to observe those around you, especially children, as they pick up on your moods. Watch for that moment from when they switch over to what they were feeling independently to what they are feeling when they notice you. Then ask yourself, is this how I want others to feel around me?
You have more power than you think. If you walk into a room defensive and uptight, that is how the room will respond. This isn't to control how everyone else is feeling, but just to set an intention within yourself of the influence you want to be in the world.
We have all heard the down and out stories of how people hit rock bottom and that was the catalyst for the rising up. We have heard those stories of triumph over the impossible negativity we see in the world. We are overcoming little "rock bottoms" all of the time. It is our success over our struggles that gives us the trust in ourselves to take risks and carry on. It is the success in our moments of weakness, that remind us of our strength.Read More
Often we are a cluster of pain programs and suffering. Natalie Merchant's "Break Your Heart" lyrics "don't spread the discontent, don't spread the lies" is excellent advice to move past that stage into one of contentment.
You have heard it a thousand times from me and other self-help guidance counselors to "think positive" or "love yourself first." Of course you know that is what you are supposed to do. So why aren't you doing it?
The Shame of Thinking Positively
Thinking positive isn't always well received by our peers and authority figures. Often when we come to our bosses with good news, they shame us into noticing what is broken and needs to be fixed. We get obsessed at looking at what isn't working as a way to try and encourage it to work.
Our peers perceive our positive thinking as naive or thoughtless. They see us taking our eyes away from what needs to be done to focus on the flakey behavior of "free thinkers" and rebels.
See if you can find your positive-thinking shamers and as kindly as you can, ask them to help you shift. Make them your biggest advocates for positive thinking. If they aren't up to the job, or you don't feel like you can ask them, work on releasing their opinion from the top of the meaningful pile. Try and reduce how seriously you take their opinion and know they are projecting their own limitations onto you.
Suffering to Deserve
Another thing we often do is "suffer enough to deserve." Sick enough to deserve help. Worked hard enough to deserve a break. Struggled enough to deserve something better.
Catch yourself "suffering to deserve." Shift it up and allow yourself permission to deserve from a different place. Deserve help because we all desire connection and to help each other. Deserve a break because you are always doing your best. Deserve something better because you have learned from your mistakes and are ready to learn from your successes too.
Expectations and Assumptions
You cannot pretend you don't feel bad, that is suppression of your energy. But what I am suggesting is to check in when you are stuck in automatic pilot with feeling bad. You can feel bad and then give yourself permission to feel good.
Even when you look around and don't see any good yet. This isn't a fake it activity. This is just about realizing that in what you expect to see is what you will see. If I suggest to you to notice all the blue cars on the road today, you will. Your mind enhances what you focus on. If you expect to see kindness and love from people, you will. Change up your expectations to find negative experiences lurking around every corner. Change up your assumptions about people and how you will be treated and see what happens next. This doesn't mean there won't be people who will hurt you or be rude, but your mind will hold onto the positive experiences more easily.
Here is more on how beliefs are driving your experiences from my Coaching Club videos.
If you are a follower of metaphysical matters, you will often hear about the ego. Most of the time the ego is considered something to let go of, not something through which to live your life.
I think that's impossible for most of us. It isn't the point for us yet. I read a book called "The Rascal's Guide to Enlightenment" by Mat-Zo the unleavened one. You can tell by the title and author's name that it's a funny one. In his book he includes an "I Love my Ego Rebuild Kit." To paraphrase, it says something along the lines of "if you have ruined your ego through too much enlightenment work, use this rebuilding kit to fix it up." It's a pretty funny book. I recommend it to everyone.
Everything is about balance. As I watch children grow, I see their egos forming. It's part of development. Without it, they would miss an important part of their life lessons, like learning how to be compared to others and still feel good about themselves from the inside. Finding out that we are all different and coming to terms with what that means.
However, as we mature and understand ourselves more deeply, we can soften our ego's role into a more helpful tool. We don't want to run the world with our egos out of whack because then we forget that we aren't the center of the universe and right about everything. But without enough ego, we may lose ourselves in that idea that everything is an illusion except spirit, which may also not be the best approach to living your life.
I don't think it's about blowing the ego away. But it is about using our consciousness to bring everything into balance through understanding our relationship with ego and spirit. With intention, the ego can work with the spirit to enhance your sense of authenticity. Below is a video from Teal Swan on her thoughts about ego vs. intuition. Watch more about authenticity here.
The ego helps us discern between "us" and "them." It works with you to find joy in the separate existence that we are all living.
The spirit uses the mind to understand itself more deeply. Knowing how to witness the ego self gives depth and expansion to the spirit.
The ego helps set boundaries about how you want to be treated, emotionally and physically. What feels good to you is not the same for everyone. It helps formulate experiences that are specifically enjoyed by the separate self.
The spirit helps setup how you experience yourself in the world. It frames your perceptions, what you expect and how your respond to your physical world. The physical body provides a vessel of knowing the spirit through experience and expression.
The ego’s connection to the concept of spirit has rules of morality, organization and formulations about to understand the difference between right and wrong. It helps feeling supported in the separate self as "good."
The spirit has expansiveness and the understanding that it's bigger than just the immediate moment. It is bigger than the experience of right now, but holds in it the whole truth of self that allows the ego to create yet more experiences.
I offer you a visualization to release the story of the mind, which helps the ego to soften and allows the balance of ego and spirit to take place. Click here to access the mp3 file on Google Drive.
We are natural storytellers. We love to pass on information through stories. The story tellers of indigenous tribes are generally held in very high esteem. We read books, watch movies and have conversations revolving around telling stories.
There is a risk with passing on stories, and that is misinformation. We tend to pass on stories no matter what their validity. If it feels real to us, it is real. This is why we have websites like Snopes, so we can check out facts or find out we have been duped. This Slate article speaks of a mythical story of panic, reportedly caused by Orsen Welles' fake broadcast on a Martian invasion. This article emphasizes to the fact that we can can pass on untrue stories for a very long time.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
How does this play out with subtle energies? Well, not only do we tell our stories to others, but the stories we tell ourselves are the ones we can get most duped by. First, because we generally don't share our full stories to others we don't get called out on how false they are. Second, because the voice we hear loudest is our own. Whatever the story is we tell ourselves, is the story we believe, defend and create in our lives.
For me, the story of how much time I have versus how much time I think I need is never in balance. It isn't an uncommon story. I share this story with many others around me, which makes it worse. We all perpetuate the time struggle.
When a story becomes an addition
As I become more stressed, I start to spin my story deeper and deeper. Anyone who tries to convince me that my story is unreasonable is likely to get a defensive response and I weave the further the story in order to convince the other person that my stress is valid. This does me no good on an energy level, but I am hooked and I do it anyway. It is like a drug and I lose my power to it.
As I have worked with people over the years, I have seen clear energetic addictions in most people's lives, some are healthy, others are not. Most of it has to do with how you learned to be in the world. What your parents, teachers and peers showed you your life was like.
As much as you can blame your parents or society for your imbalances it is ultimately your awareness and intention to change that bringing you into balance again. For whatever reason, your soul wanted to learn that lesson by being in it and then bring yourself out of it. So now is the time to change the story. Start finding new ways to tell yourself how to get things done or engage with your friends.
Some other examples of negative energetic addictions include drama, anger, sadness, hopelessness, victimization and "work." You may even use these states of being to motivate you. Motivate you to go to work, make a change or just get out of bed in the morning. Paying attention is always the key to these things.
Take a moment to notice your energy addictions. Where do you spend a lot of your time? In a state of peace, stress, anger, etc.? Is it possible that you are addicted to this frequent state of being? Take a minute to make a pact with yourself to notice that this energy is a choice. Do you want to choose differently today? Give it a try. Tell yourself you want a new story.
You can also ask some follow-up questions, for example, is this a mental addiction or an emotional one? Where do I store this story in my body? Can I get the same results with a more positive spin on this story? I would love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to share.
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I was listening to Pandora today and a song by Ingrid Michaelson, came up. The basic lyrics are “I just want to be okay”. It got me thinking about why people seek out my services. The is the fundamental reason. They want to know they are going to be okay. So I began to contemplate this message further. Digging into myself and by ability to “be okay”. I realized many live in a state of constant doubt. They are wondering if they are making the right decisions, in the right relationships, saying the right things, etc.
What if every decision we make, is the right one? Every relationship, divinely intended for our awareness and awakening. This is the truth! If you can embrace your “okayness” you can embrace the fact that everything that comes to you, has reason. It has an intention, set by you on a deeper layer than you may know, to experience.
Experience! That is all that we are here for. We are trying out ways of being, testing limits, learning new things and being more of what we were yesterday. We are using experience to expand ourselves. The more we do it, the more we learn how to harness it. The more we consciously create, the more empowered we feel.
So try it. Rather than stress over “am I okay?” stress over nothing and be in the experience for what it is. The real question then becomes, “how can I embrace the fact that I am okay?”
Bring it on!
I have been a long time rescuer. Since I was a child I surrounded myself with people in need and offered to help them. I had convinced myself that I was helping everyone. But the truth is I was helping no one and maybe even making it worse. Why? Because I was validating them as a victim. Holding space for their suffering.
Instead, what I should’ve done was hold space for their empowerment. Investigate with them, why they were where they are and help them see that they can get themselves out of it?
I’m glad to say I have begun to learn my lesson. Being an intuitive healer with helping guides helps. They remind me every day that no one is a victim. We are all divinely wise creating our experiences in order to learn.
So how can you tell if you’re empowering someone versus rescuing someone? Here are a few tips.
Check your motives. This is the first step to helping with anything or offering a healing to anyone. Why are you doing it? If for any reason you’re doing it to change them or to force an outcome, stop, step back and rethink it. If you have expectations of what things should be like, you are probably in rescue mode. Does it make you feel lovable to be a rescuer? Do you feel better about yourself when you are rescuer? Your motives may be more about your needs to be the rescuer.
Check how you’re viewing the person your helping. Do you think they’re a victim and that’s why they need you? Helping someone who you think is a “victim” will not help them. Work on viewing them as a divine being creating a divine experience. Then offer them help as another divine being witnessing from the outside what could happen differently.
Did they ask you for help? A lot of times we can’t stand someone else’s suffering. So someone may be just telling us a story. And we can’t stand it that they’re suffering. We have an urge to jump in and make it all better. That’s a sign that the rescuer is trying to come into play.
Are you sacrificing for them? Now I’m not saying giving to another person needs to be limited here. All I’m saying is that if the stakes are really high for you, you might want to check with whether or not this is a good thing for you to do in the first place.
Are you helping a pattern stay stuck? If you have witnessed this pattern over and over in a person. You’ve tried to help and it still seems like nothing is working. Then it may be time to let them find help elsewhere. There may be help around the corner for them from someone or something else. There may be a better solution that you are not unaware of if you would just stand back they could receive their lesson one way of another.
The truth is we’re all human. We all suffer. We all have success. And we all do this all by ourselves with the help of the people around us. We don’t need to rescue each other we are just perfect the way we are right now. It’s more about the co-creation.
Learning to give. Learning to receive. Learning to be helpful. Learning when to be inadequate so someone else’s gifts can shine. Learning to be wise. Learning to need wisdom from others. Learning what you believe. Learning to release judgment. Learning about suffering. Learning about Joy. Learning to see each other. Learning to see ourselves. Learning to love each other unconditionally.
So it is.
My internet connection has been down all day, which surprisingly is why I have time to write this blog. (kind of ironic) But the month of May was not a balanced month for yours truly. I traveled to Australia (in too short of time period to adjust either way) and just had too much going on in all areas of my life. I knew I was out of balance, however for some reason I couldn’t seem to slow it down. I kept saying “next week will be better”. Well now it is official, this month of June is better! I am returning to “normal” and bringing myself into alignment again. Why did I let myself get so out of whack, primarily because I was experimenting with time and how much I could pry in, but also working on my ever present lesson of boundaries and saying no. I do learn a lot from my slides out of bounds, so I am grateful when I can return to myself and see the other end for what it really was. It also reminds me how good it feels to be in balance and encourages me to stay there.
I can’t say I have found downtime yet. I am still working on it, but I now understand why I need it. The idea that our whole energy system can just go, sleep, go, sleep is not how we were built. We were designed to follow a cycle, a more gradual coming online of ourselves and a more gradual return to rest. The bell curve of our energy rather than peaks and valleys, is key.
Without this down time, we don’t have time to collect ourselves up, reflect on what is going on, or listen to our subtle energetic messages within us and around us. It is like being able to see the scenery, it can only be done when you slow down enough. That doesn’t mean you always stop, you may have to go quickly to get to the place you want, but then slow down and enjoy it.
Time for some scheduled downtime. Give yourself some time to just stop and be. Time to rest, take inventory on how you are feeling and reflect on the gratitude for all you have done (or survived). Downtime can be whatever you want, as long as it slows you down enough that you can pay attention and feel rejuvenated afterward. Give it a shot. As always, I encourage you to share what you do for downtime. It might encourage someone else. Share on my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/insightfulinspirations.
My weak spot in my body is my lower back. It is actually part of what started me on the journey to wake up and pay attention to what is really happening. Anyway, I have a massage therapist that I use that is nothing more than a miracle worker! She just can get right to the issue and get it out for me. My back being out today gave me the motivation to write about how our energy is energy and what our bodies do is what the rest of our energy systems do too. For example, when she gets into a tight spot, the body flinches and protects the spot. It is painful and it doesn't want to feel this pain. At this point in the massage you have two choices, skip the spot or dig in deeper. If you skip it, the problem remains and festers, eventually causing more problems throughout the body. If you dig in deeper, the body resists the pain, but eventually is forced to let go and relax. What a gift to let it go! Now it may be sore and need healing after the release, but it is so much better than hanging on to it.
Now apply this emotions. We avoid the painful ones and stuff them when they come up. Problems come up because of this and it festers and causes more problems. If we just feel the emotions and get it out, it releases and we move on.
Apply this to mental processes. If we avoid things that are difficult or just think about the surface issue over and over, you never get that thought resolved and it takes away the energy to process other things. But if you dig in and figure out why you are mentally processing something, you can resolve it with more clarity.
You get the point, it might be better to focus on things rather than let it hang out and cause problems.
I want to share a video with you of my son. He is reading from my book, Insightful Inspirations, and he is reflecting (on his own, unscripted and unplanned) about his experiences with getting hung up on a blind cord. :( His advice, stop trying to ignore it. Face it and let it go.
Insightful Inspiration Get a massage! Well, okay that is just a nice to have. Notice where you are feeling pain, tension or struggle and avoiding actually digging in. If these are particularly painful places to go to, get some help! Coaches, counselors, therapists, ministers, ME... we are all here to help you work through the painful places so you can release them. Support, to help you face what you aren't facing and move past it. What a gift. Give it a shot! :)