Insightful Inspirations - Leanne Holitza

Energy healing, intuitive guidance

Leanne Holitza is an Intuitive healer working with your energy and thoughts to align you with your highest potential. Allowing you to experience more of what you already have, making room for more.  This site offers help with all areas of life through individual sessions, classes, yoga sessions, and more. My expertise also includes working with intuitive children. 

The Energy Of Gratitude

So how do you know if your ego is asking for more or your spirit? Your spirit comes from a place of plenty. A place inside you that knows there are no limits but your own mind. The ego mind often speaks from a place of fear, obligation or lack as we discussed above. Once you release your gratitude energy from your obligations and fears, you can clarify what you want. 

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Heart Chakra

Chakras are just a way to describe energy centers in our bodies. We use different sources of energy in order to be and manifest in the world. There are several different schools of thought regarding chakras, so I am writing from my own experiences and awareness, not from a specific school of thought.

By paying attention to energy fields, you are sending an intention to yourself and your energy to rise to a conscious level of manifestation. You can then use that awareness and intention to refine your energy fields and become a more conscious creator.

Pay attention to your heart chakra and see what you can manifest by paying more attention to it. This is the chakra that is at the chest area somewhere around the heart, spins clockwise in a green color. This is where you store information about your affinity for things, being loved, lovable and loving.  

THE ISSUES

When the heart chakra is blocked, you have difficulty connecting with others. You feel unloved and find the world hard to be in. The heart chakra can get blocked from a single deep wound or can develop over time. The heart chakra can also be blocked if they are feeling bad out their body in any way, including feeling as if it isn’t working properly.

  • Ended relationships
  • Layoffs or job related rejections
  • Lack of perceived support from others
  • An environment that values mental over likability

There are many indicators of over active or under active heart chakra. Primarily you are looking for feeling rejected or overly needy for love and attention.

THE EMOTIONS

The blocked heart chakra can look like any other blocked chakra. It has a range of emotional symptoms. The primary one is feeling unloved, alone, unworthy. The tricky thing with this is we all have a touch of insecurity running through our system and that isn’t always a heart chakra block.

A heart chakra block often manifests as a wall to love. Meaning when you are offered love, you reject it or hold it away from your energy field because you don’t trust taking it in or think you will have to repay the love somehow.

Often times you want to work with the root chakra and heart chakra to create safety to receive and give love. It is also common to manifest a third chakra imbalance with this chakra meaning either you are completely yourself, but not receiving love for it (blocked heart, open third) or not being yourself, but receiving love (blocked third, open heart.)

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

The physical symptoms of a heart chakra imbalance are easy to notice. Often times the person’s shoulders are slumped to protect the heart or their arms are crossed when they talk.  

Imbalance symptoms can include:

  • Tightness in the chest
  • Difficulty Breathing
  • Shoulder pain
  • Heart illnesses
  • Excess muscles in the trapezius muscles

When a body is talking to you about an imbalance though pain or discomfort, give it attention in a loving way. We often try and shame and force bodies back into functioning properly. Instead, love it first and ask what it needs.

THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES

People can plug into our chakras and draw off energy from us. They can do it to us while in our presence or not.

Often time people will draw off energy from the heart chakra when they want approval from you. They also might want you to be put down so that they feel better about themselves.  

You might have someone in your life that is very needy or an “endless pit” for attention and affirmations from you. These people would be better off pulling this energy from within, so if you are over compensating for that person, you are not helping them. Pullback your energy and protect your boundaries by affirming that you have love for them and reminding them to look back on themselves for that love as well.

People who want your approval for any reason can hijack your heart chakra. Notice when you are allowing it to happen and balance out your heart chakra to clean up the relationship.

THE BALANCING ACT

So how do you balance all this out? Meditation is always a great way to tune into your energy systems.

But if you are not a big meditator, here are some other ideas.

  • Write a gratitude journal to yourself.
  • Put loving sticky notes on your mirror.
  • Connect with warm-hearted people who you feel safe with.
  • List out all the things you have done well in your past.

There are many videos and meditations out there. This one is an interesting one.

Affirmations for the heart chakra:

  • "I am loved.”
  • “I love the world I have created for myself.”
  • “I am loving.”
  • “Kindness comes through me and to me.”
  • “I are perfect just the way I am.”

If you find any resistance to those affirmations above, that is also a good indication that your heart chakra is blocked. Dig in and find out why you are resistant and what you are telling yourself instead. 

Happy Balancing. Book an appointment below if you need further assistance with balancing your energy.

Solar Plexus Chakra

Chakras are just a way to describe energy centers in our bodies. We use different sources of energy to be and manifest in the world. There are several different schools of thought regarding chakras, so I am writing from my own experiences and awareness, not from a specific school of thought.

By paying attention to energy fields, you send an intention to yourself and your energy to rise to a conscious level of manifestation. You can then use that awareness and intention to refine your energy fields and become a more conscious creator.

Pay attention to your solar plexus chakra and see what you can manifest by paying more attention to it. This is the chakra that is somewhere around the navel and spins clockwise in a yellow color. This is where you store information about your authentic power, manifesting into the material world, and mental clarity.

This chakra is probably the most complex chakra and cannot easily be described in a blog. But this information will give you a good place to start.

THE ISSUES

When the solar plexus chakra is blocked, you lose your ability to see things in a variety of ways. You are blocked to different ideas about what is going on for you and have a very rigid approach to things. Here are common external influences of the solar plexus chakra.

  • Career choice
  •  Relationships based on control
  • A sense of powerlessness brought in through the familial line
  • Low self esteem or puffed up ego
  • Being part of rigid structures of control such as military and or strict religious practices
  • Limited access to life choices; blocking off the ability to know who you are.

There are many indicators of an over-active or under-active solar plexus chakra – primarily the need for control or feeling powerless.

THE EMOTIONS

The primary emotions of the out-of-balance solar plexus chakra are anger and hopelessness. If this chakra is out of balance you may feel easily overwhelmed by others’ energy or feel taken advantage of. You may feel like you don’t have the right to an opinion or that your opinion doesn’t matter.

As the powerlessness continues, you may feel angry and resentful at those that you perceive to have more power than you. It may even be anger at a whole system, such as a company or government.

When this chakra comes into balance you feel a sense of strength in your core that empowers you to stand up for yourself in an assertive, healthy way. You are confident in your decision-making and feel safe expressing any emotions that come through with ease and self-acceptance.

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

The physical symptoms of a solar plexus chakra imbalance are more challenging to notice. When it is balanced you will feel strong in your convictions, but an imbalance can look like you are strong but are masking your insecurities. When in balance, you know yourself and your value in the world and when to act on your desires. Sometimes you have to look closely to see when there is a third chakra imbalance.

When you have an imbalance in the solar plexus, many symptoms can come up. Just to name a few:

  • Abdominal pain
  • Excess belly fat (sometimes this is the opposite with too much muscle in the abdomen)
  • Allergies
  • Diabetes
  • Lower energy
  • Slumping posture
  • Gallbladder or liver illnesses

When your body is talking to you about an imbalance though pain or discomfort, give it attention in a loving way. We often try and shame and force bodies back into functioning properly. Instead, love it first and ask what it needs.

THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES

People can plug into our chakras and draw off energy from us. They can do it to us while in our presence or not.

Often people will draw off energy from the solar plexus if they want power from you or to change your mind in some way.

If you are a people pleaser, you might be offering your power as a way to make someone else feel better about themselves. This drains your energy and makes the other person feel resentful.

People who want your power or perceived influence in the world can also hijack your third chakra. They can often use emotional energies from the second chakra such as obligation and guilt to get you to allow them to plug into your power.

THE BALANCING ACT

So how do you balance all this out? Meditation is always a great way to tune into your energy systems.

But if you are not a big meditator, here are some other ideas.

  • Take time to really explore your desires and motivations.
  • Go back and confirm the good choices you have made in life and times when you felt decisive. Validate you abilities.
  • Identify authentically powerful people you know of. List their traits. You cannot observe in others what you do not have in yourself. This will allow your energy to acknowledge those traits in you.
  • Do something to boost the way you feel about yourself. For example, get a new haircut, take a class, go dancing, etc.

There are many videos and meditations out there. This one is interesting.


Affirmations for the solar plexus chakra:

  • "I am powerful.”
  • "I am allowed to be authentic.”
  • "I like who I am."
  • “I surrender.”
  • “Assertiveness and healthy boundaries are easily expressed in my life.”
  • "I trust my mind and the choices I make.”

If you find any resistance to those affirmations, that is also a good indication that your solar plexus chakra is blocked. Dig in and find out why you are resistant and what you are telling yourself instead.

Happy Balancing. Book an appointment below if you need further assistance with balancing your energy.

The Throat Chakra

Chakras are just energy centers in our bodies. We use different sources of energy in order to be and manifest in the world. There are several schools of thought regarding chakras, so I am writing from my own experiences and awareness, not from a specific school of thought.

By paying attention to energy fields, you send an intention to yourself and your energy to rise to a conscious level of manifestation. You can then use that awareness and intention to refine your energy fields and become a more conscious creator.

The throat chakra is the energy center that governs communication. It is about speaking your truth and allowing your other energy centers to communicate through you and out to the world. It also involves internal dialogue and the things we tell ourselves.

The Issues

When the throat chakra is blocked, people have difficulty communicating. They often struggle to both be heard and listen to others. It could be a life-long issue, or one that began from circumstances. Here are a couple external issues that could impact the throat chakra.

  • Argumentative relationships
  • Extreme expectations from others that conflict with the authentic self
  • Loud environments
  • Strong external authority figures

There are many indicators of over active or under active throat chakra. Primarily you are looking at your ability to be heard or listen. 

The Emotions

The emotions of a blocked throat chakra often relate to those of being rejected or misunderstood. If your throat chakra is moving in the direction of becoming blocked you might feel anger and frustration that causes you to want to yell or write angry letters. Once your throat chakra is fully blocked, you often feel isolated and lose the desire to even try to understand someone else's point of view. 

Physical Symptoms

The physical symptoms of a throat chakra imbalance are easy to see. Often the  shoulders are pulled up around the ears to protect the voice.

When you have an imbalance, many symptoms can come up. Just to name a few:

  • Neck pain
  • Ear ailments such as vertigo, earaches and tinnitus
  • Pain in upper arms
  • TMJ problems

When a body is talking to you about an imbalance though pain or discomfort, give it attention in a loving way. We often try and shame and force bodies back into functioning properly. Instead, love it first and ask what it needs.

The People in Our Lives

People can plug into our chakras and draw off energy from us. They can do this while in our presence or not.

Often people will draw energy from the fifth chakra because they desire others to see their side of things or be a voice for them out in the world. Someone might also plug into your throat chakra if they have difficulty being heard and perceive you to have a voice of influence.

People who want you to tell them you approve of them can also hijack your fifth chakra. These people will be reaching out for you to say the "right" things to them and often express anger toward you even when they're getting what they want because they're not drawing on their own internal sources.

The Balancing Act

So how do you balance all this out? Meditation is always a great way to tune into your energy systems.

But if you are not a big meditator, here are some other ideas.

  • Surround yourself with people who are good public speakers and/or communicators
  • Create time in your day to journal to your inner self
  • Go on a hike and listen closely to all the sounds around you
  • Socialize with friends you feel heard by
  • Chant HAM (mantra for sacral chakra)
  • Visualize your throat and ears opening up to new possibilities of seeing and hearing the world

There are many videos and meditations out there. This one is a sound healing tuning up all the chakras. 

Affirmations for the fifth chakra

  • "I am heard.”
  •  “I can speak my truth.”
  •  “I express myself well.”
  • “I express my truth through my actions as well as my words.”
  • "I easily hear others and feel safe communicating my needs as well.”

The Sacral Chakra

Chakras are just energy centers in our bodies. We use different sources of energy in order to be and manifest in the world. There are several different schools of thought regarding chakras, so I am writing from my own experiences and awareness, not from a specific school of thought.

By paying attention to energy fields, you are sending an intention to yourself and your energy to rise to a conscious level of manifestation. You can then use that awareness and intention to refine your energy fields and become a more conscious creator.

Notice your sacral chakra and see what you can manifest by paying more attention to it. This is the chakra that is in the groin area and in its ideal state, spins clockwise in an orange color. This is where you store information about creativity, sexuality and emotions. It also is where your appetite for things comes from.

The Issues

When the sacral chakra is blocked, people lose their ability to see things in a variety of ways. They are blocked to different ideas about what is going on for them and have a very rigid approach to things. Here are some areas that are influenced by the sacral chakra.

  • The ability to feel in control of your own life
  • Access to diversity and different ways of thinking
  • Sexuality
  • Familial emotional patterns, especial during puberty
  • Social life

There are many indicators of an over active or under active sacral chakra. Primarily you are looking for times when you are overly emotional or lacking emotion. 

The Emotions

Since the sacral chakra is part of what governs emotions, any emotion can be related to the sacral chakra. However, the key to spotting imbalances in this chakra is to look for a lack of or excess of emotions.

Sometimes what will happen with someone who is blocked there is that they will do what I call "fire hose" their emotions. This is where there is an excessive outburst of emotion, caused by a build up of unaddressed issues. Often when someone has this outburst they use it to validate that they can't be trusted with their emotions and bottle things up again. 

Physical Symptoms

The physical symptoms of a sacral chakra imbalance are easy to notice. When it is balanced you feel creative. You have the ability to see your own beauty and the beauty in others. You feel energetic access to your emotions, including the less desirable ones.

When you have an imbalance, many symptoms can come up. Just to name a few:

  • Insatiable appetite for things, difficulty feeling satisfied
  • Hip pain
  • Lower back pain
  • Lower abdominal pain
  • Problems with reproductive organs
  • Issues with fluid in the body including bladder and kidneys

When your body is talking to you about an imbalance though pain or discomfort, give it attention in a loving way. We often try and shame our bodies back into functioning properly. Instead, love it first and ask what it needs. Give it gratitude for holding onto the imbalance and making you aware of it.

You can't make positive changes if you are disgusted with or shaming yourself. First you need to accept yourself and know you are doing the best you can, and then go from there.

The People In OUr lIves

People can plug into our chakras and draw off energy from us. They can do it to us while in our presence or not.

Often people will draw energy from the second chakra because there is a desire for that person's sexual or creative energy. Someone also might plug into your second chakra if they have difficulty handling your emotions or creative intentions.

Your second chakra can also get hijacked by people who want your ideas or want you to apply your motivational space to their abundance space, meaning they want your ideas to make them money. 

The Balancing Act

So how do you balance all this out? Meditation is always a great way to tune into your energy systems.

But if you are not a big meditator, here are some other ideas.

  • Surround yourself with people who are creative and emotionally honest
  • Create time in your day to be creative and reflect on your feelings
  • Eat new foods or cook in new ways
  • Connect with nature and express gratitude for the earth
  • Chant VAM (mantra for sacral chakra)
  • Visualize your life unfolding in new and unusual ways

There are many videos and meditations out there. This one is an interesting one. 

 

Affirmations for the sacral chakra:

  • "I am creative.”
  • "I am allowed to feel.”
  • "I am beautiful."
  • “Life is pleasurable."
  • “Playfulness is easy and regular in my life.”
  • "I trust my desires to be good for me and others."

If you find any resistance to those affirmations, that is also a good indication that your sacral chakra is blocked. Dig in and find out why you are resistant and what you are telling yourself instead.

Happy Balancing. Book an appointment below if you need further assistance with balancing your energy.

Ego, Ego On the Wall, who's the fairest of them all?

If you are a follower of metaphysical matters, you will often hear about the ego. Most of the time the ego is considered something to let go of, not something through which to live your life.

I think that's impossible for most of us. It isn't the point for us yet. I read a book called "The Rascal's Guide to Enlightenment" by Mat-Zo the unleavened one. You can tell by the title and author's name that it's a funny one. In his book he includes an "I Love my Ego Rebuild Kit." To paraphrase, it says something along the lines of "if you have ruined your ego through too much enlightenment work, use this rebuilding kit to fix it up." It's a pretty funny book. I recommend it to everyone.

Everything is about balance. As I watch children grow, I see their egos forming. It's part of development. Without it, they would miss an important part of their life lessons, like learning how to be compared to others and still feel good about themselves from the inside. Finding out that we are all different and coming to terms with what that means. 

However, as we mature and understand ourselves more deeply, we can soften our ego's role into a more helpful tool. We don't want to run the world with our egos out of whack because then we forget that we aren't the center of the universe and right about everything. But without enough ego, we may lose ourselves in that idea that everything is an illusion except spirit, which may also not be the best approach to living your life.  

I don't think it's about blowing the ego away. But it is about using our consciousness to bring everything into balance through understanding our relationship with ego and spirit. With intention, the ego can work with the spirit to enhance your sense of authenticity. Below is a video from Teal Swan on her thoughts about ego vs. intuition. Watch more about authenticity here.

The Mind

The ego helps us discern between "us" and "them." It works with you to find joy in the separate existence that we are all living. 

The spirit uses the mind to understand itself more deeply. Knowing how to witness the ego self gives depth and expansion to the spirit. 

Every human being has had some experience of guidance. That is not our challenge. Our challenge is: Will our ego humble enough to acknowledge that there is more than the ego running the world and the experience of the human journey through life?
— Sonia Choquette

The Body

The ego helps set boundaries about how you want to be treated, emotionally and physically. What feels good to you is not the same for everyone. It helps formulate experiences that are specifically enjoyed by the separate self. 

The spirit helps setup how you experience yourself in the world. It frames your perceptions, what you expect and how your respond to your physical world. The physical body provides a vessel of knowing the spirit through experience and expression. 

The Spirit

The ego’s connection to the concept of spirit has rules of morality, organization and formulations about to understand the difference between right and wrong. It helps feeling supported in the separate self as "good."

The spirit has expansiveness and the understanding that it's bigger than just the immediate moment. It is bigger than the experience of right now, but holds in it the whole truth of self that allows the ego to create yet more experiences. 

Balancing Visualization

I offer you a visualization to release the story of the mind, which helps the ego to soften and allows the balance of ego and spirit to take place.  Click here to access the mp3 file on Google Drive.

The Root Chakra

Chakras are just a way to describe energy centers in our bodies. We use different sources of energy in order to be and manifest in the world. There are several different schools of thought regarding chakras, so I am writing from my own experiences and awareness, not from a specific school of thought. 

By paying attention to energy fields, you are sending an intention to yourself and your energy to rise to a conscious level of manifestation. You can then use that awareness and intention to refine your energy fields and become a more conscious creator.

Pay attention to your root chakra and see what you can manifest by paying more attention to it. This is the chakra that is at the base of your spine and in its ideal state, spins clockwise in a red color. This is where you store information about survival.

THE ISSUES

What we think we need and what we actually need can be two different things. Here are common influencers of the root chakra:

·       Money

·       Home

·       Job

·       Life and death

·       How we felt in early childhood about life

·       A sense of community or belonging here

What I've found in this chakra as I have read people is mostly about money, home life, losing children, and loss in general.  I have seen all kinds of things stir up someone's survival space that you might not expect. But primarily, you can think of it this way . . .what do you think you couldn't survive without? Food, water and air are obvious answers. But really think about this question. What worries you the most in regard to feeling you can survive life?

The Emotions

This chakra is really helpful to clear out and balance if you experience a lot of fear or anxiety.

It is also very helpful to focus on when you want to feel strong, centered, and capable. 

It is most beneficial to focus on what you want to feel, not what you don't want to feel. So if you have identified an anxiety pattern or fear, ask yourself first "What is this fear trying to bring to me?" Once you hear what you are trying to receive, recognize this as an unmet need this negative emotion is trying to meet. Then focus on that unmet need that the negative emotions are calling attention to and try to find ways to gain what you need.

For example, if you're feeling angry about something someone said, when you dig into the anger you find that you want stronger boundaries and your anger is providing that. With that awareness you can focus on the boundaries and not the anger. 

Nothing is as important as we make it, especially if we are feeling disconnected, weary, scared, or just plain bad. Dig into the lies you tell yourself and see if you can let go of some of them. See if you can shrink the story down in your mind and take it piece by piece rather than the whole thing having to be solved right now. 

 

PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS

The physical symptoms of a root chakra imbalance are easy to notice. When it is balanced you feel safe, calm and ready to tackle anything and your body feels good.

When you have an imbalance, many symptoms can come up. This is just to name a few:

·       Lower back problems

·       Rapid heart rate

·       Fight or flight sensations

·       Shallow breathing

·       Numbness or pain in the lower limbs

When you body is talking to you about an imbalance though pain or discomfort, give it attention in a loving way. We often try and shame our bodies back into functioning properly. Instead, love it first and ask what it needs. Give it gratitude for holding onto the imbalance and making you aware of it. 

You can't make positive changes if you are disgusted with or shaming yourself. First you need to accept yourself and know you are doing the best you can, and then go from there.

THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES

Believe it or not, people can plug into our chakras and draw off energy from us. They can do it to us while in our presence or not. 

If you have children, they can end up in there because we feel we wouldn't survive losing them. If the children are young and rely on you for survival, it makes sense that they are connected to you there. Once they get older, you want them to anchor into their own sense of safety, independent from what you can offer them.

We are tribal people and the root chakra can be influenced by who we consider our tribe to be or how we interact with those around us. That tribal sense can lead us to give our power away or take it from others. 

Other people end up in this chakra if they tell us we can't survive without them or if you think someone can't survive without you. It is a much healthier act of love to encourage self-reliance and independence in the survival space. The tribe can work together in the survival space, but from an energy standpoint, you can only draw on your own source energy when working together.  

The Balancing Act

So how do you balance all this out? Meditation is always a great way to tune into your energy systems. 

But if you are not a big meditator, here are some other ideas.

·       Surround yourself with people that make you feel safe.

·       Create a sanctuary in your home you can go to that represents safety when you are feeling out of balance (it doesn't have to be big).

·       Eat root vegetables.

·       Connect with nature and express gratitude for the earth.

·       Chant LAM (sound for the root chakra).

·       Visualize roots reaching into the earth and grounding you here.

There are many videos and meditations out there. I love the ones with nice sounds. Here is one. 

 

Here are some affirmations for the root chakra.

·       "I am safe."

·       "The world supports me and wants me here."

·       "I am grounded."

·       "I love my body being in the physical world." 

If you find any resistance to those affirmations above, that is also a good indication that your root chakra is blocked. Dig in and find out why you are resistant and what you are telling yourself instead.  

In my office I carry some awesome sprays that help with balancing the chakras and give you something to carry with you. Let me know if you want to try one at info@insightfulinspirations.org. 

Happy balancing. Book an appointment below if you need further assistance with balancing your energy. 


Manifesting what you are Worth

As I watch the ways of the world and the underlying motives of the humans around me, I notice that most of our bad decisions come from a lack of self worth. It keeps us hiding in ourselves and shaming and shunning ourselves into further disconnect from those around us.

We can look at the big stuff such as having affairs, lying, making others feel bad, etc. but there are so many little things too. The thing that continues to surprise me is that we often make decisions to do things because we are insecure about aspects of ourselves that no one else even cares about. People around you might even laugh if they knew your "secret" dark side.

How can you manifest what you are worth if you don't know what you are worth and you aren't facing what is blocking you from that knowledge. Self worth is a great place to start in figuring out how you are blocked to manifesting what you want. 

FacE Yourself

The key here is, if we could just face that we feel bad about ourselves and are insecure, rather than constantly running from that feeling through ego boosting activities, we would probably stop creating reasons to feel bad about ourselves. It is the belief that we are no good that perpetuates those actions to lead us to make that judgment to begin with. The chicken and the egg is no debate on this one. We don't make bad decisions because we are bad people; we make bad decisions because we are too afraid to face our fears that we are bad people.

Lets take the playground as an example. A young boy who feels good about himself invites children to play with him. Allowing the other people to also feel successful in their pursuits and encourages the joy of success in others. The boy who is worried about his own worth will often compete or show off talents they think would make others feel inferior too. We have trained ourselves to think the later is “normal.” As normal as it may seem, it is an energetic indicator that this person doesn’t know their worth.

Another example is the corporate ladder. Leaders who feel secure in themselves climb easily and bring others with them. Leaders who feel more nervous or like imposters in their positions often ride on others coat tails and make sure those around them know they are superior. Again, just because the later is more common, doesn’t mean it is the optimized way to be.

Love Yourself

If we boost our trust in ourselves, love for ourselves and believe that we are inherently good; we start to make decisions from a more authentic place. Not that controlling, manipulative place that tries to make us look good, but the place that is naturally already good. If we trust it to be there and stop wondering if it is there, we stop second-guessing, stop making choices out of how we appear. We start to do things that boost our self worth, thus perpetuating the cycle of building self worth rather than breaking it down.

There are tons of tools out there these days. Here are a few that I suggest to enhance your self love space. 

There are tons of resources out there. Google it and see what resonates with you. Then make it a habit to love yourself more. 

If you are an angel person, here is a video from Doreen Virtue. 

Be yourself

Stop trying to pretend you think highly of yourself and actually do think highly of yourself. Don't worry about what other people think of you, rather concern yourself with what you think of you. If you aren't thinking highly of yourself, your best bet to having a better life starts there.

How? The first step is to start correcting your own inner dialogue. Catch yourself when you make disparaging comments about yourself (which you probably say out loud too) and correct it to a statement that affirms what you want to be. For example, change "I can't believe I did that, I am so spacey!" to "Wow, I just did that to remind myself to pay more attention. I will gladly take that challenge."  By taking on the challenge, you are offering yourself growth and depth in understanding of yourself.

Facebook me if you want me to break this topic down more. It is truly a great place to start the healing process. (or of course comment here)

How to feel worthy, even when rejected

Unemployment, divorce or any other life crisis where you feel rejected can be devastating to the manifesting space. If you let it, these kinds of experiences can leave you feeling victimized, wounded and unworthy to have the world work in your favor. 

There are periods when we can also get convinced people only like us for what we can give them, not because they authentically like us. We get angry because we feel used and alone in our most vulnerable times of need.

But this doesn't have to be a blow to the manifester inside and in fact can actually strengthen your abilities to create an authentic life. 

False foundations

Sometimes we establish relationships with people based on something we give them and when we test the relationship by taking that thing away, we are shocked to find the relationship falls apart. For example, new jobs. You go into the interview, probably promising your devotion, hard work and endless talent. You get the job and then kill yourself for months working hard to prove yourself. Then the steam starts to run out and you realize what you did was over-promise and the level of work you could sustain long term does not match up with the expectations you have set..

You overextended your energy to prove yourself instead of standing in your authentic value and making that work for you. Then your work quantity tarts to go down, and although it might be more reasonable, it isn't what you promised originally and your employer is feeling annoyed. You feel like "what the heck, I have been killing myself for this person."

Yeah... and that is what they began to expect! You could apply this to your friendships, your relationships, anything. Did you promise something you couldn't sustain? Why didn't you just promise what you could authentically do in the first place and accept that that is enough? You would have been better off to be rejected in the first place, rather than burn out your energy trying to be somewhere you don't fit.

Counting on others

Another scenario is that sometimes we are meant to be alone to work through some things. Although right now, all we want in the world is someone to hold us and tell us it will be okay, that person isn't there for a reason. You are meant to deal with things alone so you face them and work through them in your own energy. Other people will put "fix it" energy in our space in a time we need to just be with something and so sometimes we need space, even if we don't want it. 

It is in the realization of your own strength and understanding of yourself that you find your life to be sustainable. When you are able to show up in ease and grace and have the world around your support that, then you are moving into authentic manifestation. 

No victims, only volunteers

Each scenario is not a punishment to victimize you (yet again). It is there to teach you about your authentic, powerful self and highlight the beliefs and situations that you give your power to that are no longer serving you. These situations show up to help you stand tall in your own space, no matter what. You can use this rejected energy to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for yourself, or you can put that energy into healing your fears and self worth issues that have brought you here in the first place. Once you do that you can go to new places in the future and not replay old patterns.

Manifesting in your truth

Embrace every moment as a teaching, healing moment. Where do you feel rejected? What is coming up in this rejection? Do you feel alone? Abused? Used? Under valued? Why is this a bad feeling for you? Is this true? Are you really being abused, used, under valued?

If you are, why are you allowing that to happen? How is that serving you? Are you getting false acceptance from this behavior? Maybe you would like to change it but don't know how. It's okay, just notice it for now and remember that you want to do something different. Keep that awareness and see how things shift. If you aren't feeling abused, etc. then why are you letting yourself get worked up about it? Is it keeping you from looking at the real issue for yourself?

Allow every moment, no matter how hard, to be a moment of reflection for yourself. Rather than resist it and try to get out of it, embrace it. Let it teach you. You are already suffering, why not get some value out of it? Why waste a good opportunity to learn?

Happy healing.

Harnessing Collective Power

You know the feeling, you walk into a group of people and suddenly your light bulb goes on and you are feeling energized and ready to go. You are tapping into the collective energies.

On the flip side you may have noticed times when you felt drained by hanging out with someone. If you are draining your friends or they are draining you, you are drawing off their finite energies and not collective energy – obviously not what you want to do.

To harness the collective power, you must tap into your inner intentions and connect it with the collective goal. For example, a party is to have fun and hang out. Tap into the energy of the group intention rather than who is going to be there to give you energy. Focus on the collective group, not just individuals.

Five tips on how to do this effectively.

Clarify your intentions beforehand

Before you leave the house (or have the crowd come to you) clarify your intentions. Why did you choose this group? Why are you going? How does it fill you up? How are you contributing to the energy you wish to receive from the group?

Release expectations.

Try and let the experience unfold. Let it show you its potential rather than trying to predict how it is going to go and who is going to do what. We often manifest stories in our head before we even get to the collective event and then make it happen the way our mind predicted it would. Don't have the conversations with yourself before you even have the conversations with others.

Choose the right events to attend, groups to be part of and causes to support.

When you are contributing energy to a group, make sure it is one that fills you up as much as you fill it up. If it drains you, neither you or the group are getting a fair deal. You can only contribute to a group that you are already feeling good about, and you should be able to walk away from it still feeling good. This doesn't mean you won't be physically drained after contributing energy to the group, but it should not drain your spirit.

Bring your best self. 

If you are tired, unhappy, or just plain miserable, it is going to be hard for the group to rise to meet you (or even lower to meet you). If we bring an empty glass to the party and nothing else, we are going to have trouble being in the collective giving and receiving space. Do your best to fill yourself up before you go. Besides putting on nice clothes, put on some nice energy as well. Positive emotions, a clear mind and an understanding of your contribution to the group is a good place to start.

Have fun. 

The playfulness factor always helps with collective energies, even when the topic is "serious." Keep the mood as light as possible. When it is hard to do that, try and find a memory that makes you smile or an idea that lights up your passion. Bring that feeling up in yourself for a minute before proceeding back into the group.



Want to work with a collective group of authentic self explorers? Check out my 2015 coaching club. 

Neutrality as an act of presence

The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thought about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is.
— Eckhart Tolle

Eckhart Tolle has brought to our awareness the power of presence in our lives through his books such as The Power of Now. He has outlined how we cause ourselves misery by worrying about stories of the past or ideas of the future. But hidden in that wisdom is a message of neutrality.

Neutrality basically means not to take sides. When you apply it to looking at your life and the people in it, you gain a whole new power you didn’t know how to tap into before. It helps you shift both your perceptions and perspective. Read more about the difference and concepts of perceptions and perspectives on my previous blog.

Mindfulness

Neutrality is really about mindfulness. It is about connecting your mind, body and spirit to the truth of a situation, rather than the stories around it. It allows you to step back from the unspoken rules of life and observe what is happening around you without judgment.

This stuff is going mainstream. Check out Rep. Tim Ryan talking about the need to teach mindfulness to our children. 


Stepping back and paying attention with a calm and aware mind is key to neutrality. 

Bending the rules

Remember the rules are only the rules because we all agree to them. We can change them at any minute either within ourselves or externally as a group. The key to this shift is not to convince each other to change, but to mindfully look at the situation and step back to see a new perspective you never saw before.

Rules were written in the past for the past and some of them need our present perspectives to realize it's time to change them. When we turn our "autopilot" off and really look with fresh new eyes, solutions we would have never thought of bubble to the surface. We can easily weigh pros and cons of all sides of a situation and decide with clarity from there.

Human beings are natural rule breakers. We always want to prove we can do new things. When we do this with mindfulness and neutral perspectives we see more possibilities than we ever could from our judgment space. 

Connectedness

Do not mistake neutrality as a way to disconnect. You still care about the outcome. You still want the best for all involved. You are just using your awareness to bring in more possibilities.

Open your heart as you listen with neutrality. Understand that everyone is doing the best they can the best way they know how. No one gets up in the morning hoping to do his or her worst. If you keep that in mind, then you are able to look at situations, especially conflict, with love and acceptance first. 

Harmony

 We are all seeking ways to be more peaceful and feel better about ourselves. If we step back from judgment and employ neutrality more, we put ourselves in alignment with harmonious situations. As we go looking for good vibrations rather than judgment, we find them. Go looking for them. 

Here is another video on judgement.

Shushed and Shunned No More

As social creatures we learn from a very young age what is acceptable to our fellow humans and what isn’t. When we are children, we are taking in the world without filters – absorbing the patterns and thoughts of those around us. Our energy system begins to form and categorize our beliefs, which later shape our realities. We use our energy systems to form our lives through our vibrations.  For more about this topic, read my blog about your energy bubble.

Where you grew up has a lot of influence on what you felt safe to express. The influence of the culture, religions,  family and friends, and so much more, impact how you are able to access your authentic self verses the self you use to show the world who you are based on their standards.

Even as we go into adulthood we care what other people think, often to our detriment. I hear so many people say, “I am 50 years old, you would think I would stop caring what my crazy sister thinks.” But we do care.

We constantly shush and shun each other for things we find inappropriate. This is the only way we know how to get others to change their behavior, so we use it to tell each other what we want. But the message gets jumbled. The message that comes across is “you are bad” instead of “what you are doing is making me feel bad and I want you to stop.”

Is there a better way to set boundaries for ourselves and to no longer use shush and shuns to control others or be susceptible to being controlled by them? I am going to propose a new way of trying to be.

Balancing our energy field requires significant awareness of the masculine and feminine energies. Allowing them to have equal power in your space is critical to good health on all levels. As we continue this discussion, know that this energy in inside yourself, not outside.

Change your relationship with protection

Masculine energy is about boundaries within oneself. The ability to do what is right for the single person, despite what is happening around them. Masculine energy is the action-taker and decision-maker within us.

Because of our battle for equality, not just feminism, but just our right to be equal on all levels with each other, our ability to access our masculine and feminine energies have been jumbled. We view the need to be protected as a weakness. We don’t have a good relationship with what it means to honor and protect ourselves, not with fists and guns, but with shielding and removing ourselves from a situation.

The difference is like putting on bug spray because you don’t want to be bitten versus spraying the entire forest to kill every last bug. The latter is impractical and uses more energy than needed to get the desired results.

 The balancing act

 First, it is important to know that there is no good or bad masculine or feminine energy. Either can be expressed negatively, when things are out of balance, but it is normally from an incorrect relationship with the two energies, rather than one being worse than the other.

Next, you need to understand where you are currently. Are you balanced in your relationship with protection and vulnerability? Do you have a healthy relationship with the fragile side? Who did you learn this from? Is there a desire within you to change it?

Finally, you'll need to make peace with your ideas or "programs" about men and women, about what it means to be your gender. Releasing any victim energy (victim or victimizer) around each. Allowing you to acknowledge and redefine yourself in relation to these energies.

The healing work

Keep in mind that you are not healing the world with this work, just yourself, the relationship with masculine and feminine energies within your own system. You will shift the world by focusing on you.

Focus your attention on what is soft and gentle within you. How are you feeling as you focus on this? Can you soften your response and bring in more joy and love for these gentle sides of yourself? Use your body and emotions to bring awareness to your relationship with these sides of yourself.

Next, focus your attention on protecting yourself. Telling others "no" when you need to and leaving situations you find threatening. Can you soften your response and bring in more joy and love for these protective energies? Say thank you to the energy of protection and allow it to do its job.

As you bring this awareness to the forefront, notice how it plays out in your life. Notice who you feel more comfortable around and what energy they are using most. Use this information to create real change in how you interact with the world.

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It takes practice to change a habit, so give yourself space to play and learn about this shift. 

Your energy field

It has long been known that our cells and tissues generate electrical fields. However, the significance of those fields and our influence on them is still somewhat of a mystery.  It is an invisible force field around us, telling the world how to interact with us and influencing how we experience it but we don't know how to interact or change it. But we can with a little mindfulness.

Your energy field should be arms length around you in all directions. But sometimes we extend our bubbles wide into the room or shrink them up into little balls. Other times we put up boundaries that are too intense or too weak. This impacts how we interact with others, how we use our energy and how we feel in various situations. 

I use many techniques to teach the kids about their energy field. I teach kids to think of it like a bubble around them. I'll show a jar that is easy to put stuff in, but when flipped over, difficult to shake stuff out of. We play with hula-hoops and protect our space. Each of these games encourages them acknowledge that their space the exists beyond their bodies. 

But the truth is kids only need to be taught to consciously use their energy field not that they have one. As babies we begin to use the size of our energy fields to get what we want from our caregivers.  We intuitively know how to make our space bigger and smaller depending on how we want to experience things. But as we are impacted by life experiences, we start to unconsciously turn our energy field up or down.

 Make use of your mind, body, spirit connection

Consciously using your energy field is easy. The trick is to do it when you are under pressure. The best way to flex this muscle is to practice, so  when the pressure comes, you already know how it feels to be balanced.  Giving conscious attention to your energy, arms length around you, is all you really need. Acknowledging how you want to feel in your personal space and who you authentically are. To read more about authenticity read my blog "The Secret Ingredient Of Success."

By doing this, you are using your own electromagnetic field to impact the space around you. This can impact the entire room. Just as an angry person can shift the energy of the entire room, a conscious aura can too. 

This is more than a mind trick. This is a synchronization with who you are, what you intend and how you are feeling. If you practice understanding who you are, how to use intention and how to move yourself into peaceful feelings, when you are under stress, you can actually return to this state by using your awareness and electromagnetic field. 

The Spirit Science channel on YouTube does a great job explaining some of these concepts. I recommend this video on the energy of the heart field. 

Practice makes perfect

Part of the reason I wrote my book, Insightful Inspirations - Conversation starters for your authentic self, is because in my work I have noticed people struggle to know themselves. They have become collections of projections, programming and other people's judgments and often lose their sense of what gifts they want to bring to the world. 

If you don't know who you are, it is hard to hold an energy field in a stressful situation. If someone more energetically committed to an intention influences your space, you will quickly switch back into autopilot. Practicing self awareness and understanding in calm, relaxed moments will help you hold your energy field when under pressure. 

Proof is in the pudding

I can't tell you how many times I have seen this work. One situation comes to mind over all others. I was working at a party, reading for a variety of people. While I was in a room working with someone, I felt a strong energy come over the house and then dissipate. When I returned to the group everyone was in a buzz because a neighbor had come over intoxicated and in distress.

Knowing how I work, the hostess asked me to go over with her to check on the neighbor. As I walked into the house a strong sense of despair and struggle came over me. I instantly adjusted my energy field to hold the vibration of peace and wellness.

She went into the back bedroom to find her neighbor crying uncontrollably. The host came out afraid and concerned for her wellbeing and asked if there was anything I could do. As I entered the bedroom, I maintained my peaceful energy field, not matching into the energy of worry and concern the others had.

Immediately the woman's eyes cleared up and she grabbed my hand. She began telling me her story and asking me to stay with her. The others left the room and I sat with the woman awhile. When she began to drift off to sleep, I left.   

Unfortunately, her troubles returned when I left and she ended up struggling with herself and her sister all night. But this is a great example of how you can impact a situation for yourself, despite strong energetic chaos. 

Play around with it yourself and see what you notice. See what experiences you can have. Remember to be authentic in the use of your energy field. Using your energy field to control or manipulate others is not the point. I have seen people misunderstand this power and turn their lives upside down misusing it.

The point is to be the person you intend to be and watch how the world responds. 

Energy Addictions and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

We are natural storytellers. We love to pass on information through stories. The story tellers of indigenous tribes are generally held in very high esteem. We read books, watch movies and have conversations revolving around telling stories. 


Some of these things are true and some of them lies. But they are all good stories.
— Hilary Mantel

There is a risk with passing on stories, and that is misinformation. We tend to pass on stories no matter what their validity. If it feels real to us, it is real. This is why we have websites like Snopes, so we can check out facts or find out we have been duped. This Slate article speaks of a mythical story of panic, reportedly caused by Orsen Welles' fake broadcast on a Martian invasion. This article emphasizes to the fact that we can can pass on untrue stories for a very long time.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves 

How does this play out with subtle energies? Well, not only do we tell our stories to others, but the stories we tell ourselves are the ones we can get most duped by. First, because  we generally don't share our full stories to others we don't get called out on how false they are. Second, because the voice we hear loudest is our own. Whatever the story is we tell ourselves, is the story we believe, defend and create in our lives. 

For me, the story of how much time I have versus how much time I think I need is never in balance. It isn't an uncommon story. I share this story with many others around me, which makes it worse. We all perpetuate the time struggle.  

When a story becomes an addition

 Oh how we love to spin.

Oh how we love to spin.

As I become more stressed, I start to spin my story deeper and deeper. Anyone who tries to convince me that my story is unreasonable is likely to get a defensive response and I weave the further the story in order to convince the other person that my stress is valid. This does me no good on an energy level, but I am hooked and I do it anyway. It is like a drug and I lose my power to it.

As I have worked with people over the years, I have seen clear energetic addictions in most people's lives, some are healthy, others are not. Most of it has to do with how you learned to be in the world. What your parents, teachers and peers showed you your life was like.

The Cure

As much as you can blame your parents or society for your imbalances it is ultimately your awareness and intention to change that bringing you into balance again. For whatever reason, your soul wanted to learn that lesson by being in it and then bring yourself out of it. So now is the time to change the story. Start finding new ways to tell yourself how to get things done or engage with your friends. 

Some other examples of negative energetic addictions include drama, anger, sadness, hopelessness, victimization and "work." You may even use these states of being to motivate you. Motivate you to go to work, make a change or just get out of bed in the morning. Paying attention is always the key to these things.

Take a moment to notice your energy addictions. Where do you spend a lot of your time? In a state of peace, stress, anger, etc.? Is it possible that you are addicted to this frequent state of being? Take a minute to make a pact with yourself to notice that this energy is a choice. Do you want to choose differently today? Give it a try. Tell yourself you want a new story.

You can also ask some follow-up questions, for example, is this a mental addiction or an emotional one? Where do I store this story in my body? Can I get the same results with a more positive spin on this story? I would love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to share. 

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The energy of worry

Kids, our friends, or family are all potential targets for our worry. It shows we care about the outcome for them, right? Wrong! When you worry about someone, you are energetically saying "I don't trust you to be okay". Energetically you are sending them concerns about who, what, where, how they are. This energy drops their energy down potentially propelling them further into the issues they are in. 

Your thoughts actually weaken the person you are worrying about. You are reinforcing any doubts they are having about their progress and victimizing them in their reality. I would venture to guess that was not your intention at all. 

What would be more helpful for the person you love and have concerns for is to support them in their power. Sending them energy to support them in getting what they need out of the situation. Sending them "you are perfect and powerful the way you are and I trust you to be okay" thoughts. Energetically it is the difference between telling someone "you can do it" or "I HOPE you can do it". Which one is more supportive? Imagine how that would feel if someone did that for you, stopped worrying and started cheering you on.

Here are three quick ways to turn a worry into support.

  • Focus on what you want for the person, not what you view as a problem that is occurring. 
  • Check your motives and be clear what is yours and what is really their's to handle. 
  • Check to see if you think the situation can change. If you think someone is caught in a life sentence of struggle, how could they ever feel empowered by your support? 

Bottom line, let that person know you trust them to be okay in the end. Think about how great it would feel if everyone around you said "you can do this" instead of "I hope you survive." 


Blame, Shame and Automobiles

The concept of shame as a way to manage each other's behavior is not a new concept. We shame our children, our peers, our representatives. We tell everyone they are bad and need to do better in order to get people to act the way we thing they should.

 Photo by Freeman Mester

Photo by Freeman Mester

In my kid's blog I talked about this concept from a parenting perspective. But how is this concept of blame and shame affects your ability to function in life is huge and we continue to do it to each other as adults. Think about the last time you were driving down the road and someone pulled in front of you. Did you think "that person just made a mistake" or did you think "that person is a jerk"? I would guess the second. Which is shame, applying the act to the whole person. 

What's the big deal? Read more about the psychological affects of shame in an article in Psychology Today. What does it do to your energy system? It steals your power, over rides your ability to access new thoughts and stunts your ability to create new things in your life. No big deal, right? Listen to Dr. Brene Brown talk to Oprah about this topic "Shame is lethal."

Step one - Admit you have a problem

Start noticing when you are using blame and shame, even if just in your own head. Are you assuming people are messing up or are bad people because of the decisions that they make?  Start paying attention to the idea of shame and blame and notice how often you are using it in your engagements. 

Step two - Make new habits

Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
— Miguel Angel Ruiz

Catch yourself and replace that thought with shorter, more specific judgements. For example, someone cuts you off you might say "they are having a bad day of driving" vs. the alternatives or if someone wrongs you assume first that they are doing what they think is best, not what you think is wrong. 

It also helps to acknowledge this for yourself when you feel you have made a mistake somewhere along the line. Start practicing self acceptance in the place of self judgement. 

Step three - Reject the blame and shame from others

 Photo by Freeman Mester

Photo by Freeman Mester

You don't have to fight with people on this, you just have to stand your ground. When someone tried to send you shame and  blame, just acknowledge they are coming from a place that they think is best and move on. Don't pick up the paddle and smack back a little blame and shame of your own. If you change the rules on engagement for yourself, people around you will start noticing and changing too, without you doing anything else. 


Bottom line, you want to feel better and have the freedom to take risks without the fear of blame and shame. 

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I am right!

Perspective - this is something I have blogged on more than once. The two sides to every story, how you can change your perspective, etc. What is so important about this topic? Everything!

Dictionary.com provides seven different definitions of perspective. Wikipedia breaks it out into groups, i.e. graphical, visual, cognitive. All of which are relevant to the topic of understanding your place in the world. The one I am going to focus on today is "one's "point of view", the choice of a context for opinions, beliefs and experiences".

In relationships with other people we spend a lot of time trying to see each other's points of view, convincing others to see our side of things, trying to understand where they are coming from, etc. But this is my message for you... no matter how hard you try and see another person's point of view, you are still seeing their point of view from your point of view and vice versa.  It is impossible for you to truly see their point of view.

All of their life experiences make them unique to how they perceive things. Scientist have proven this even with identical twins who have lived very similar lives. Their perspectives are still radically different.

When I do couples sessions, I decode the two perspectives for the other to where they have "aha!" moments about their communication space. They can see how their causing misunderstandings by assuming the person is hearing them the way they hear themselves. They begin to understand that the misunderstandings are not personal to their spouse not wanting to hear them but rather that they have their own filters that they listen with. It seems to relieve stress in the relationship and help them to accept each other more.

You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.
— Friedrich Nietzsche

This is important to remind yourself of because when you are trying to understand or be understood, there is no right or wrong answer. There is no definitive "this is the way things are". We often spend a lot of energy trying to get to "right" vs. "wrong" but because of perspective this is different for everyone. For example, just because you feel better not eating meat does not mean that is the right choice for everyone or doing Yoga makes you feel fit, but others like to run.  

The best part is, this is OKAY! It is wonderful for each and every one of us to see the world differently. It helps us realize endless possibilities of our human form. Our evolutionary possibilities are endless because we all see things differently.

Are you spending energy and time trying to understand some one's point of view or have them understand yours? Step back for a minute from this process. See it for what it is and the possibilities that this is creating.

Maybe your significant other wants to spend some money going on vacation and you want to invest it on your house. What are the different points of views bringing to light for both of you. Can you take that wisdom with you as you search for a compromise? Why is the universe presenting you with this difference of opinion? What is it trying to get you to see differently?

Embrace who you are and how you think. This is your gift to the world. Share it with an open mind and open heart and encourage others to do the same.