The Energy of Betrayal
The book is always better than the movie. Why is that? Because the book is rich with nuances and story lines that can't be crammed into a movie length space. And both the book and the movie would be boring without ups and downs.
Such is life. We are often trying to rush to conclusions, not enjoying the journey and understanding the value of all the little things that happen in our stories. If we just live the highlights (as in movies) we miss so much of the details. So much of the love, joy, pain and triumph are in the smaller moments of life, so much of our consciousness counts on us to notices the subtle things to refine our intentions and create the life we want.
So what about the pain? Why do we have to feel pain on our journey? What is the point of feeling pain? We are going to explore this question through the experience of betrayal.
BETRAYAL IS PART OF IT
Let's get real, no one goes through life without the sting of betrayal. It's part of the journey we are on. As you become more aware of the concept that you create your own reality, you must also take responsibility for everything you experience as something you have created.
Our lives are all knitted together in a unique way. Each experience, good or bad, brings awareness to what you want and what you don't want. It is very specific to you on your personal journey. When you feel painful emotions, it is telling you that you are out of alignment with your true desires to create expansive experiences and is a message for you to shift. To read more about using emotions as a gauge for what you need, read this blog.
So step number one is to accept betrayal as something that happens to all of us. Take your power back from that victim mentality and use it to your energetic advantage. Using the law of awareness you begin to shift your experience into an intentional creation space.
Step two is to realize that by feeling betrayed you know you have the capacity to trust. Trust is a gift in and of itself.
WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IS...
What is betrayal a gauge for? What is the message behind betrayal? Dictionary.com has seven definitions for betrayal, one being to be "unfaithful in guarding, maintaining, or fulfilling."
What you are really asking for when you feel betrayed is to be put first. To matter most when other people are making choices. You are asking another person to be loyal to you and fulfill their obligations to you, either spoken or unspoken. You want to feel like if you put someone's best interest at heart, they would do the same for you.
What you want to keep in mind is you allowed this experience to happen to teach you something. Deep inside you, your soul desires to learn more about itself and contracts with others to help you do so. If you are having trouble shifting into this mentality, I highly recommend checking out the book Radical Forgiveness by Colin Tipping.
If you are putting blame and energy out to the person who betrayed you, you are not taking full advantage of this feeling. Feel this pain fully and sit in the truth of how you feel. Don't rush it. Use it to help you understand yourself better. This pain is triggering presence. It is also triggering you to become more aware of yourself.
Being the creator of your own reality you must then ask yourself these questions:
- Do I put myself first?
- Am I sacrificing myself for others in an imbalanced way?
- Is it easier for me to find betrayal in people rather than be vulnerable enough to ask for loyalty?
- Do I expect to be wronged by others?
- Am I a loyal person?
- Do I easily give trust to others or hold back, beginning relationships assuming others can't be trusted?
Explore these questions with honesty and you will start to utilize the painful betrayal to know what vibes you want to put out to create in the future.
WHAT ABOUT THE PERPETRATOR?
What about the one who wronged you? What will you do with them? Revenge! No...this is going to be hard to take in, but the first thing you want to do is have compassion for them. Whatever they did to you was not about you, it was about them.
You will not be able to teach them a lesson or get them to understand what they did to you by dwelling in negativity. It is also not going to keep you from ever being betrayed again. The only way to truly move out of this situation is to commit to owning the only side you have any control over, your side.
If this person is toxic to you, then it might be time to admit the current state of the relationship. Take ownership of your role in the situation and what you want to do going forward. Put your focus on what you really want to create next in your relationships and put up some boundaries for that to start to happen.
If this person is just acting out a role for you right now, then admit that too. Maybe this person is just trying to help you make a much-needed shift in your life.
The best thing you can do for yourself is commit to being with the feeling, learning your lessons and then move on to live in that more expansive state. If you choose to use victim energy to decode and make sense of this situation, you will never fully be able to be free from the betrayal.
It is a gift you can give yourself to commit to fully feeling into your experience in order to learn from it and move on from it, rather than allow it to create walls and wounds that will never heal completely.
Forgiveness is the best gift you can give yourself when it is all said and done. But don't rush to the end of the story too quickly; you'll miss the whole point of the story.