The balance of giving and receiving
Honoring our needs while balancing the needs of others can be a challenging dance. It can feel like we're sacrificing ourselves if we give for the “greater good” and feel selfish if we ask for something only we need. But balancing giving and receiving by being a good receiver as well as a good giver can bring unexpected gifts and leave everyone feeling abundant.
It's better to give than receive . . .right?
My typical style of functioning is to stay busy taking care of others and if there is any time or energy left, I do one last check around to make sure no one needs it before giving anything to myself. What this leads to, as anyone could guess, is a depleted giver. Isn't that lovely?
When it gets really ugly I can blame the recipients of my giving for taking too much!
The truth is, it's up to me to set the boundaries of what I can and cannot give. It's human nature (and down right polite) to take the gifts being offered to you. If I'm not willing or able to offer a gift at a given time, it's up to me to say so. Not to mention, when you're giving from a depleted state, it's like scrapping the bottom of a crusty bowl and giving it to someone. Yuck! Nice gift.
Does it just feel better to give?
Think about this for a moment. It actually is, often, easier to give to others than to ourselves. There are many reasons for this and everyone is different as to why this gets off balance. Here are some ideas to consider:
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of facing your own issues
- Lack of ability to know what you need
- Lack of ability to know how to get what you need
- False contracts – if I do this for you then you'll do it for me
- Self worth issues
What about the takers?
In order to have over-givers you also have to have people willing to over-take. You could be over-giving in some places and over-taking in others. By over-taking someone else’s energy, you are losing the best parts of life in learning to be self-reliant and honor all that you can give to yourself.
If you are seeing someone else having more than you, i.e. more money, more energy, more in life than you, you are undervaluing yourself and what you do have. It creates a gap between you and your manifesting space that can ultimately lead to you accidently manifesting “less” all of the time. If you are seeing someone else as having more, check in and replace that observation with what you want, not what you don’t have.
Bringing in Balance
Take some time to inventory your balance of giving and taking. Here are some questions to reflect on:
- Are you allowing yourself to give to yourself in balance with what you are giving others?
- Why or why not?
- What is working, where are you feeling good about giving to others?
- Where are you feeling good about receiving from others?
- What blocks you from giving to others?
- What blocks you from receiving from others?
Give yourself a moment to consider working directly on those issues that present when you are out of balance in this space. Take time to face those needed adjustments head on. Let whatever needs to come up, come up. Feel those feelings and work with them to give you the balance you need through intention and self-awareness.
Break up with transactional giving and receiving
The transactional model doesn’t work well for keeping giving and receiving in balance. It is a false structure, “I will give you this and in return you will give me the same energy back.” Very rarely do we put in as much effort and energy into something as someone else does. For example sometimes we work harder for our employer than they pay us for and sometimes . . . we don’t. Sometimes we have the energy to help a friend out and sometimes someone else gives us the hand we need. If you view everything as transactional, you are likely to feel disappointed.
There is a huge pot of energy we are all drawing on at any given time and it is infinite and abundant. We just have to remember to open up how we receive things and not be so focused on one particular place or person because we think we have “earned it.”
This blog is my gift to you and I am open to however the universe would like to repay me for my energy.