When we get emotional, we struggle to be rational. It is true for all of us. And what does the emotional self really want anyway? To feel validated and heard. When we don't feel heard we escalate our emotional state even further.
Some adults have learned to stuff this side of themselves and even some kids have, but what if stuffing it isn't serving us? What if there was a better way to deal with our kid's emotional triggers and our own? There is!
Using emotions as a gauge rather than as something to be managed helps us shift our focus. We always say our kids don't come with manuals, but they do come with gauges, which give us information about them. Unfortunately, because of how we interact with our own emotions we often miss these signs our kids are giving us.
This is not a new topic. This has been discussed for years. So why aren't we using our emotions more in our energy interactions? I find that often times people are still miscalculating their own perceptions of others. They are often times dismissing things they pick up about other's emotions, telling themselves "maybe it's just me".
The first step to helping your child's ability to use their emotions as gauges to what is happening around them is for you to understand and validate yourself more in this area.
Learn to notice sets you off into negative emotions without judgment or criticism, but with curiosity and understanding of the message behind the emotion. Having emotions is an evolved way of being, but we often treat it as if it is the opposite.
Emotional guidance system
I don't like the concept of "coping" with or "controlling" emotions. It makes it sound like you are overcoming an emotion, rather than interacting with it. I suggest you neutralize your view of every emotion and use it more like looking down at your fuel gauge and seeing it on "E" or "F". It is just a state of being and as you get closer to "E" you know you need to start to consider stopping to fill up. Same thing for negative emotions. As you get closer to negative emotions, it means it is time to stop and consider why the child isn't feeling "full" and address it that way.
Abraham Hicks talked about your emotions as a sensor of vibration. When you are feeling wonderful, you are in alignment with yourself and your true vibration. When you are feeling terrible, you are in vibrational alignment with something other than yourself. This is a great recording to understand this further.
Reading the gauge
It is really important to remove your own emotional triggers to your child's emotions. You can do this by consciously connecting with times that you "loose it" and do your own work on that. You can use a counselor or EFT. Click here for a simple article on this topic further.
Once you master your own triggers, you can passively experience your children's emotions, especially the bad ones. You can ask why your child is not in alignment with their natural, happy, playful self. What is triggering them. Then see if you can offer them a shift, through your recognition of what is out of alignment.
Give it a try, it is easier than you think.