Seeing Both Sides: Healing Through Perspective
Being a mother of two square pegs who refuse to fit into round holes, I’ve had my fair share of struggles with the school system. It’s one of the many systems we don’t seem to fit in.
As a mom, it’s required me to stay deeply grounded in my truth. As a healer, it’s stretched my capacity for compassion and understanding to new levels.
The Power of Perspective
Our perspective of the world is uniquely personal. It’s shaped by a complex blend of our past experiences, beliefs, conditioning, and the role we’re playing in any given moment.
Where we often get stuck is in believing that others must see things our way for our truth to be valid. But your truth doesn’t need universal agreement to be real. Each person’s experience is a thread in the greater tapestry of truth. Honoring that diversity allows for freedom — yours and theirs.
Two Sides to Every Story
When it comes to healing, seeing through the eyes of another can be profoundly transformative. We may never fully understand another’s perspective and our filters will always color what we see, but extending compassionate curiosity toward “the other side” can open the door to deep healing.
For me, this often looks like wondering what a teacher’s view of my children might be (who are now grown as I write this). While I hold space for my truth — that my children are bright, creative souls who challenge systems that no longer serve us — I can also have compassion for a teacher juggling a full classroom, diverse needs, and a child (mine!) who loves to debate every rule. A teacher has to work within the system, because they are the system.
When I stop taking their perspective personally, I find freedom. I can honor the teacher’s truth and my own. Both can coexist.
Moving Beyond Victim Energy
When you start exploring both sides of a situation, you might notice the victim energy that wants to rise — the part of you that feels wronged, unseen, or misunderstood. It’s natural, but clinging to that energy keeps you small.
Before you inquire into the other side, release the need to defend or make someone else wrong. Meet the situation with curiosity rather than blame. This opens the energy for insight and healing.
Here are some questions to support this process:
What is really happening here?
Why do I care so much about this?
What would it mean if I didn’t need to be right?
What parts of me feel wounded or unseen?
What emotions are surfacing (anger, hurt, betrayal, shame)? Are they new or old?
For me, when my children didn’t meet the school’s expectations, it touched my deepest wound — the one that whispers, “I’m not a good enough mother.” That wound drives the urge to prove them wrong.
But, I’ve learned that I don’t need to prove anything.
I know my heart. I know the love, guidance, and strength I pour into my children every day. My work isn’t to convince the world, it’s to heal the part of me that still doubts herself.
I’ve also had to face the pain that arises when I sense others labeling my children as “bad.” Beneath that is my own longing for acceptance, not just for them, but for me. The healing comes in realizing that our worth isn’t determined by how others see us. It’s anchored in our ability to accept ourselves fully, as we are.
And as I practice this, I teach my children to do the same, to love themselves first, to honor their uniqueness, and to see others through the eyes of compassion rather than defense.
Your Turn
Think of a situation in your life that’s been triggering or painful. Instead of replaying the story from the lens of hurt, invite yourself to explore it as a mirror for your healing.
Ask yourself:
What lesson is my soul offering me here?
How can I love myself more deeply through this experience?
What truth might the other side hold that could free me from judgment or fear?
Love yourself for calling these lessons into your life. They’re not punishments — they’re invitations to expand.
Embrace both sides of the story, not to determine who’s right or wrong, but to find peace in your own heart. Let every experience, even the uncomfortable ones, lead you closer to unconditional love — for yourself, for others, and for the human journey we share.
Sending you unconditional love and light as you navigate your own stories. Feel free to share in the comments.
