Being a mother of two square pegs that down right refuse to be put into round holes, I have had my fair share of struggles with the school system. As a mom it has required me to stay grounded in my truth. As a healer, it has tested my limits of compassion and understanding.
Our perspective in the world is very personal. Our filters of how we view a situation involves a complex brew of our past, our beliefs, our programs and our position in the situation.
Where we sometimes get hung up is when we need to convince others to see our side as the only truth. But one person's experience does not have to invalidate your own. Each experience is its own and it isn't a requirement that the whole world have the same experiences as us to have our experience be true.
Two Sides To Every Story
Taking this a step further, in order to heal ourselves sometimes it is helpful to see truth in the other side of the story. You probably won't be able to see the other person's truth 100% because you are still using your filter, however, a compassionate view into the other side can offer a healing to you as well.
In my case, I might being inquiring into myself about what a teacher's story could possibly be. I do this while at the same time, hold space for my truth as well.
I can have compassion for the teacher who has a full class, with several children who have special needs, one of which loves to debate every rule and issue with a passive aggressive behavior that he has down to a science (that's mine.) Learning not to take that teacher's perspective personally is also a huge gift.
Looking at the other side of the story while holding space for our truth with compassion. Our side being that our child is very intelligent and has a very unique and useful personality. If he is guided in the right direction his talents for bucking status quo can take us all to a new level.
When you are doing this two sided work you are likely hanging onto the other side's perspective as a personal attack of some sort. You might even feel that there was a violation against you, at no fault of your own. Hanging on to these things isn't going to help you feel lighter, more connected and ready for the next thing. It will leave you feeling gun shy, bitter and resentful.
Release the victim before you inquire into the other side. Watch out for your need to defend your view point and make the other person wrong as you look.
- What is happening here really?
- Why do you care what this person has done?
- What does it matter?
- Is it over and done with? If so, can you move on and forgive and forget? Why not?
- What parts of you feel wounded?
- What feelings do you feel? Do you feel hurt? Angry? Betrayed?
In my situation my mothering is questioned when my children won't fit into the expectations of the school. That hits me to the core and I want to prove is wrong, no matter what. But here is the catch, I don't have to prove it wrong!
I am a wonderful mother to my children. I know this and do my best with them every day. But I had to heal this part of myself, realizing that some part of me must have wondered if she was right. Otherwise, why would I care?
The other thing that pokes me to the core is a perception that teachers believe that my children are "bad" in some way. Again, I want to prove that wrong. This is more about me wanting to see the world accept my unique child without question. I so badly want the world to accept me too. Again, perfect place to work on healing myself. By looking at this I can allowing both my children and I to accept ourselves as we are, rather than trying to convince the world to accept us. Teaching them to love themselves first, then listen to the input of others.
Take a step back from your head on a situation your are struggling with. Use this moment in your life as ways to heal yourself and look into things further, rather than injure yourself through painful lenses of hurt and victimization.
Love yourself for bringing these scenarios into your life to teach you what you want to learn as a spirit. Embrace them, rather than be victimized by them. Use both sides of the story to bring you clarity and safety to explore the truths that are trying to shine through.
Sending unconditional love and light your way this week.