Insightful Inspirations - Leanne Holitza

Energy healing, intuitive guidance

Leanne Holitza is an Intuitive healer working with your energy and thoughts to align you with your highest potential. Allowing you to experience more of what you already have, making room for more.  This site offers help with all areas of life through individual sessions, classes, yoga sessions, and more. My expertise also includes working with intuitive children. 

Forgiveness for Open Hearted Children

Energetic Vocabulary Words

Forgiveness - having genuine compassion for a situation where we have felts wronged and converting the energy into a gift rather than a curse.

Victim Energy - the false idea that you have been injured in some way and have no power over the situation. 

The energy of being "wronged"

There are genuine victim situations out there, or course, but lets home most of our children will ever see those situations. However, we all get stuck in feeling sorry for ourselves and giving our power away to the idea that we have been "wronged." It is often a feeling we get when our boundaries are being violated. The act of reestablishing those boundaries is often delayed by this sense of victimization or needing to be justified in the hurt.

When kids learn to take their awareness to the victim energy, use it as a messenger of a temporary condition and then respond with that awareness they can more easily shift back to empowered ways of thinking. 

Some children really related to victim energy, so you can't force it. This is just offering them a new tool if they choose to use it. 

Some tools

Mirrors

Teach the child to see the person as a mirror of something inside of them rather than identifying with the separation. Ask them to identify similar things about themselves that they see in the person wronging them. You can use an actual mirror or have them draw it out.

Searching for gifts

Looking for the gifts in something is a great way to reframe things. Sit down and let the child write down on small pieces a paper all the things that happened that hurt. Fold them up and put them in a jar or bowl.

Then have your child write down all the good things that happened because of the situation and small pieces of paper. You can do this for them too and make it a surprise.  Fold them up and put them in the jar. Try and think of as many as you can. 

Then shake up the bowl and pick out a piece at a time. Put the bad stuff in one pile and the good stuff in another. Reading through each one again. Then take the bad pile and throw it away. Ask the child (with your help) to reframe the good stuff in a present moment statement, reminding them to take that with them and leave the painful stuff behind.

Feel free to add your own suggestions to the comments section!

 

Balancing Giving and Taking

The idea of giving and taking comes naturally to our kids. They are prewired to get their needs met any way they can and are usually pretty tuned in to giving back as well. Similarly babies' smiles and giggles are delivered in return for affection. (Who doesn't love a good baby giggle?)

It is helpful however, to begin to teach children to be more mindful of this space as they get older. Being self centered is an important childhood skill. Developmentally this is not something to try and deprogram or shame out of them. Instead, inviting children to have gratitude and to find how good it feels to give allows them to create a natural relationship with balanced giving and taking.

IT FEELS GOOD TO GIVE

Kids who learn to give learn how good it feels to give. Often we forget to give them opportunities to give. We are moving too fast or we are so focused on our giving to them, we forget to give them opportunities.

Find small ways to allow your child to give, authentically, to others. You can make gentle suggestions on what they can give, but also notice where they are already naturally giving and call mindful attention to it with your own gratitude.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF RECEIVING

It feels good to receive, but sometimes we accidentally give kids the impression that it's a bad thing. For example, our child got upset about something while getting ready for school while we are making their breakfast. Then when we say "I made you breakfast," we may be accidentally implying that breakfast should make up for what they're upset about.

Be aware of implying to your child that if they receive something good, they should then be happy all day or that that gift discounts any bad feelings they may have.

Notice where you might be sending the message that receiving is not okay or should be returned as a favor in the future.

I have many clients working to restore the ability to receive because they have been taught that receiving is selfish or greedy. It leaves their loved ones feeling like they can't do enough for the person. It also leaves that person feeling undeserving and unable to give as much as they want to.

As always, balance is a dance and mindfulness helps us bring more awareness to this balance.

Self-Talk for Stronger Energy Fields

Energetic Vocabulary word:

A mantra is a word or formula, as from the Veda, chanted or sung as an incantation or prayer.

Affirmation is a declaration that something is true.

Mindful use of affirmations

An unconscious mantra is the things we say out loud or in our head to ourselves without even paying attention to what we are saying that works as an incantation or prayer to the universe. In other words the announcements we make to our manifesting energy that bring more of the same into our lives.  Energy fields drop when you used negative affirmations. It impacts more than just your mind; your whole system is impacted.

Being mindful of what we are saying to ourselves can be very helpful in shifting our focus and our feelings about ourselves.

Spot their mantras

See if you can help your child spot when they are negatively talking to themselves. Listen to them when they speak in negative tones about themselves. Help them notice what they are saying.

Rewriting their mantras

Now that you can identify them help them identify some new thoughts that might be things they are really looking to hear when they have their negative self talk.

Reinforcing their mantras

Because the thoughts you are trying to replace are often ones they are using under high stress times, you want to help your child get your new mantras in as much as possible in the low stress times first, so you can have access to them in high stress situations more easily. It is challenging to do this under duress.

Here are some ideas on how to make your mantras stick.

  • Have new thoughts on sticky notes on the fridge, when an old mantra comes out, have your child go to the fridge and pick a new one.
  • Compliment your child often with their mantras. Let them hear positive affirmations coming from you as reinforcement.
  • Come up with a key phrase like “Level up!” to indicate to each other when a negative affirmation needs swapped out with a positive one. Let the whole family play.
  • Share your ideas of positive affirmations and how you use yours (with age appropriateness of course)
  • Make a meme together and post it on their wall.

Play with it. Have fun and commit to being kinder to yourself as well. Being a good role model is always the best bet.

Fear of the Unknown

For kid's most of the world is still an unknown and if they can keep their childlike curiosity in charge, as they explore the unknown, for as long as possible, that is ideal. But that curiosity gets replaced with fear soon enough. 

The unknown is just something we are not yet familiar with. If we let our children know that we all are experience things we don't know, every day, they can begin to learn that it isn't something scary. 

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Motivation

THE ENERGY OF MOTIVATION

I blog a lot about motivation and "shoulding on yourself". But what about shoulding our children? When you push your children to do something because they have to or they should, you are contributing to their misdirected energy rather than their intrinsic guidance.

When you know better you do better.
— Maya Angelou

Children want to do good things, help their families and be happy. They want to be motivated just like you do. You as their energy guide can help them connect to their inner motivator. 

TIME TO REALIGN YOUR CHILD'S MOTIVATION

You know them best, what motivates them. Is is knowledge, connecting, snuggles, feeling like they belong, feeling like a leader? See if you can identify with them, what gets their engine going and make them want to do. It may not be the same as yours, so be open to it still be equal to what motivates you. 

Once you have figured out what their reward system is vow to never use it against them. For example if they are a connector and need love and they aren't behaving well, don't deny them love and snuggles. Instead, hold this motivator sacred and use it for good and whenever you can offer it for something positive that you want them to do more of  (even the smallest of things) offer that as a reward.

WHAT'S MINE? 

Offer yourself the same guidance as you realign with your own motivator too. Kids learn best from example. One good blog to check back on is the one about picking up other's emotions. But people do a lot of things, based on programs they have picked up from others that has nothing to do with what they really want. For example, maybe you think you should be making more money, but what you have to do to make that money is not what you want. Maybe the real job for you doesn't pay well in money, but pays well in experiences and how it connects to your heart. 

When you feel the have to and should energy coming up:

  • Ask yourself who originally told you this information.
  • Were they coming from a clear space?
  • Does it serve you to take that into your life?
  • If yes, why? If no, then how can you work towards letting it go?

NOW I AM CLEAR, WHAT NOW? 

Partner with your child to help them feel motivated. If they don't want to do something, figure out a way to speak to their inner motivator. This depends on age of course. But if you want your child to clean his room and you are the only one who values the cleanliness, you have to figure out what motivates in regard to this. You could offer it as a reward after or whenever possible incorporate it in to the act.

Here are just a few examples in regards to cleaning the room. 

The curious doer - you might do an experiment on what happens to one toy that gets left out for a week. You can let that one toy be left while you pick up the others. Have the curious child observe what is happening with the toy. (i.e. gets kicked, dusty, chewed on by the dog, or absolutely nothing). These children like to know why they do things. Help them learn it. 

The snuggler - you might let this child see that it is hard to get in and out of their room in order to snuggle with them on their bed. Or perhaps you show them how much easier it is to spread out a game together when there is room. 

The distracted one - you might break the task down into smaller chunks for those kids that are always looking to do something better. Show them how to break it down and remind them often to tune into their own sense of accomplishments with completed work.

There are a lot more of types of kids, these are just to get you started on identifying your own strategy.

BE A CHEERLEADER

We have a tendency to shame ourselves and others into doing things. It is a bad habit and it doesn't motivate anyone. Instead it creates and avoidance of the tasks at hand. Focusing on what is working and how to expand on that is a great place to start. If you find imbalances or behaviors or thoughts that you don't like, just notice and gently steer yourself in a new direction. 

ASK FOR HELP

When you are feeling stuck ask for help. Reach out to your resources and see what they think might help. There is always someone out there looking to help you shake things up. 

Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful energy tool, taught by many famous career coaches, spiritual teachers, and business leaders. As I write this blog to you, know that it is always a constant journey for me to teach my own children this lesson. 

You have probably spent a good deal of your own energy teaching your children to be polite and say "thank you". What we don't teach our children to do is say "thank you, more please". Believe it or not, this is a powerful manifesting phrase when done from a place of true gratitude and not lack. 

As we must express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not by utter words, but to live by them.
— John F. Kennedy

What's important here is to understand the energy of gratitude. Your children might learn the words, but do they actual feel grateful?  How do they even know what gratitude feels like?

Teaching Gratitude as an Energy

There are several ways to demonstrate the words of gratitude, but how do you show your children what gratitude is?

Express genuine gratitude in front of them and to them. 

This can not be a fake situation. You have to truly feel grateful within yourself and then be willing to express it. Try and do this as often as possible. Maybe even make it part of your bedtime routine. Tell them what you are grateful for in regards to them and your lives together. 

Point out their gratitude energy

When you catch them being authentically grateful, point it out. Ask them to notice how their body is feeling and what their mind is doing.  Then label it for them at gratitude. This will start to match the vocabulary up with the sensations in their body. When you link feelings with words it commits it deeper to memory. 

Surround them with grateful people

Negative people do have an impact on the way we feel and perceive our world. If your child is hearing someone in their life be negative, ask them to be careful. Similar to being diligent about cursing around your children, make negative comments bad words in your child's presence. Don't worry realists. Your child will get enough of the "real world" and you aren't going to be able to filter it all anyway. This isn't about sheltering them, it is about influencing them into a positive way of living. 

Be Polite, but narrow in on the energy

If you try and tell them to be grateful about things they are not grateful for, you are loosing the point of the energy of gratitude. You can still teach them to be polite, offering a "thank you" when someone else makes an effort, even if they don't appreciate the effort. After these encounters happen discuss why you are expressing gratitude. Teach them to be grateful for the action of the other person, rather than just the output. Help them understand the difference between checked out politeness and authentic connection through gratitude. 

Trust them

We have to coach our children how to be polite, but sometimes we jump ahead and tell them how, when they may have an even better idea. Instead of dictating "write a thank you note" but instead ask them a more open ended question such as "how would you like to tall grandma how much you like your present and how grateful you are?" They often have more genuine ideas than we ever would. 

For more on the energy of gratitude for grown ups, go to my Energy Awareness blog.

 

 

The power of pretending

There are tons of articles out there about the importance of pretend play in child development. Here is an example if you are interested in reading more. Honestly, just try and stop your kids from pretending. It is such a natural state of being that conscious thought bring in pretend play. 

Understanding the importance of pretending and how if works with the energy system is worth contemplating as you parent your energetic beings.

jacktoys.jpeg

Why is it important?

As your children learn to pretend, they are learning how to flex their manifesting muscles. They are learning abstract thought, which is key to beginning to understand the subtle bodies of energy. They learn social and emotional skills, which activates the chakras and balances the system. It provides an opportunity to work through complex issues without having to experience them for real.

It also makes for a healthy, free thinking adult. It helps them develop independent thought and creativity. Think about the idea "think out of the box". This is the grown up way of saying, pretend you have a new answer to the questions being asked and make it so. 

Pretend play, window into your child's mind

Listening to your children's pretend play can also give you a clue into how they are taking in the world. You may think your child isn't aware of the tension between you and your spouse but then notice them pretending to have tension between their lego guys that sounds surprisingly like something you are saying in your head.

Not all pretend play is a way to work out confusing energy, but it can definitely show up there and you can follow the breadcrumbs to unlock your children and where they are coming from. It can also help you learn more about where they are focusing their energy. 

How can it be enhanced with energy?

Don't define reality when it comes to energy

Let your children tell you about how their perceive energy. Don't question the reality of what they are saying and instead, let them share with you what they think. Our understanding of the world is always expanding and changing. When you allow them to explore reality in their own way you allow them to create the world in a way that suits them. Their world will be very different by the time they get to the age you are. Acknowledge you don't have all the answers. 

Give it a personality 

When they are struggling with an emotion, ask them to assign a being to it. Give the being a name and a look. They might even (when they are calm) draw a picture of this being and talk about what the being really wanted. Feed that being and ask it to go away or come up with ideas on how you can keep it away when it comes back the next time. Human consciousness likes definitions and concrete concepts. Using the energy of pretending allows you to abstractly deal with issues and bring in the energy you want.

Pretending to manifest

As children, we fantasized about what our life would be like. What kind of fancy car we would drive or house we would live in. At some point, we were told to create from our fear space and "be reasonable" about our expectations of life. You can turn this on its head with your kids. Encourage them to pretend to pass a test, make a new friend, or visit and enchanted island. Encourage them to expect the best out of life and to trust themselves in their creations. 

A daily dose of daydreaming heals the heart, soothes the soul, and strengthens the imagination.
— Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway

The bottom line is, there is a blur between what is real and what is pretend. As we allow our minds to drift into creative forces and expand into the ideas of what is real, we allow ourselves to always expand our lives. We get to go into places that we couldn't even have imagined before and do things we never knew existed. Let your children keep that spark as long as they can and let them be your teachers. 

Imagined fear

Children's experience of fear can often be dismissed or taken on by the parent as a problem to be solved. But fear is something we all deal with on a regular basis, so why not work with it as a teaching tool to help our children learn to cope with what they are experiencing rather than dismissing it. 

What is fear anyway

FEAR - a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
— Dictionary.com

Fear is a sensation we have physically, emotionally and mentally. Depending on what is happening with us, the fear can be brought on by very real danger or something we are creating in our mind and we don't always know the difference. 

We will be discussing the imagined fear. The fear that our mind makes up and how it impacts out ability to move forward in doing the things we want, not the real fears we should be listening to.

There is a great episode of "Brain Games" around fear you might watch with the kids. Here is a clip.

Facing the Imagined Fear

If the fear has completely taken over the emotions, otherwise termed "amygdala highjacking", the only thing to do is breath and focus on bringing the logical brain back online. 

Once the emotions have simmered down a bit there are five techniques I will be teaching the kids to work with the perceived threat. 

1) Use out five tools for protection - ground, center, presence, connect with infinite energy source and  surround yourself with protect arms length in all directions.

2) Bring it into perspective. Sometimes it is just the metaphoric lighting of our life that makes something scary, so we start to look for ways to change how we are looking at the situation.  

3) Go down the path of worst case scenario. How bad could this all get? How likely is it that it will get that bad?

4) Rewrite the story, what is the best case scenario. How good can it get? How likely is that to happen?

5) Create an action plan. Sometimes our mind is just trying to figure out the unknown. Think about how you can set some real, short term actions to address what the mind is trying to.

Use Fear to Their Advantage

Fear doesn't have to be all bad. Sometimes we use fear to motivate us. Talk to the What If monster's and find out why he is there. What is he trying to help us accomplish. If we learn to view fear as just another sense, we can learn to use it with flexibility and skill.

Talk about fear, don't just rush through it. Teach your children that fear is a normal emotion that we all have. Share with them how it has worked for you in the past and help them use their fear to guide them into their own sense of power. 

For more of my adult version of how to do this, visit my energy awareness blog.

In Class Exercise - Truth meter:

In class we will be drawing out our truth meters. We will discuss how we can take in feedback from the world and run it by our inner self to decide if it resonates with our truth. The kids will draw out their meter, giving the truth and untruth a visual representation and then run some of our fears through the meter and see where they end up. 

 

Teaching Kids About Ego

When we think about teaching our kids about ego we think of teaching them to be humble and not to brag. We think about those kids who puff up their chests and say I am bigger or flip their heads and say I am better looking. 

This expression of the ego is a child's exploration of the separate self.  They are learning how to understand their differences and fine dance between feeling good enough and learning to get your worth from within. 

Defining the Ego

When explaining the ego with an energy focus I love to use this analogy. The ego is like the daytime sky. Whey you look up, you think you can see all that there is to see in the blue or grey. You feel like you know what the skies are like every where and you can see everything that directly surrounds you. You feel large and important as an individual.

The spirit is like the night sky. It is hard to see where you are (especially without the use of street lights and strong moonlight) and what is around you. It is hard to take inventory of what is going on directly, but when you look up you can see a vast universe, shrinking you down into feeling small and insignificant as an individual and more connected to the infinite energies above you.

In short, the ego helps you find value in yourself by yourself and the spirit helps you feel connected and important as a group, society, species and essence.

Self-Worth and the Ego

The external focus on worth is a very tempting benchmark to focus on. Grades, achievements, and conquering the material world (like riding a bike) can be ways we measure our children as "good enough" for the world to accept them.

Helping them value their own accomplishments, regardless of what all their peers say, helps them find what truly feeds them, not just other's expectations of them. 

This doesn't mean kids won't care about achievements. It simply shifts the focus on how they feel about their hard work and accomplishments and not just what is expected of them. I know this is hard to do, because we do have expectations of our kids. But teaching them to value themselves on a deeper level than what they do every day, will help sustain them in a bigger sense of accomplishment. 

Learning to be Still

Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.
— Lao Tzu

We are taught to find worth in all that we do. But the balance of ego and spirit can only happen when are balanced in accepting our worth in both the being state and the doing state. Helping your kids feel valuable, even when they are just there, being. Smile at them while they are sitting next to you or as they are settling into bed. Show them their being in your life is just as important as what they do.

Setting the example

Let's face it, kids learn to value what we teach them to. Even if we don't say it out loud, what we show them we care about through our own actions will influence their egos. Check in with what your values are on the material plane (i.e. wealth, body image, academics) and see if they are in balance with what makes you feel valuable internally. The gifts you offer naturally to the world are often not the ones we put an extreme amount of effort it. They can be, but if the effort is driven from expectations and not passion, you might be pushing in a direct that doesn't feed the spirit. 

Another trap I see parents getting into is not seeing their children's accomplishments as important as their own. Keep in mind, everything that seems big to you in a day is how their experience their days as well. What you perceive to be a big deal, may not be to someone else. This is important to keep in mind when our kids are coming to us with their struggles and successes.  


Class notes: Where we start and the world begins.

Energetic Vocabulary Words:

Cords – We all know what a cord to the outlet in the wall is. But we are going to talk about how we “plug in” to each other and people plug into us. An energetic cord is simply an energetic connection with someone else. Sometimes we need to cut them off.

Contagious Energy – Energy that can literally be passed around through contact. 

Vampires - This is not the blood sucking kind, but you all know them. The person who makes your feel drained or overwhelmed. We will discuss the different ways other people can "suck" our energy.

Introduction:

We have discussed protection, centering, cords, etc. before. We are continuing on this topic because this is what it is all about! We are going to discuss our own personal power, truth and the power and truth of others. We are going to go into how to tell when information is yours vs. the information of someone else. We will talk about sensing the energy of ourselves and watch it rise and fall as we are going through truth and false statements. 

We will work on how to strengthen their energy to relationships that weaken them. We will do this by grounding, releasing and centering them in their own power. We will also focus more on what it means to be draining other people’s power as well.

Exercises:

Arm press – you may have seen me do this in class. The kids love it. We have them put them arm up and then we test if their energy is strong or weak by pressing down, gently, on their arm. You can demonstrate to your kids, relationships that drain their energy. They will be taught how to correct it, so if you find a weakness, you can have them button their energy up and retest it.

Power center – This game will take a few kids or the whole family to be played effectively. Get pieces of paper for the number of people playing. Write “Power Drain” on one piece of paper and leave the rest blank. Put the papers in a bowl and let each person pick a paper. Don’t let each other see. Sit in a circle with your eyes closed. The person who got the power drain card will focus on pulling energy from the rest of the circle. Then open your eyes and see if you can guess who the power drain is. Ask the “drainer” if they can feel the difference.

Being and Doing

As social creatures we learn from a very young age what is acceptable to our fellow humans and what isn’t. The children are taking in the world without filters, absorbing the patterns and thoughts of those around them Their energy system begins to form and categorize beliefs, which later will shape their realities. For more about this topic, read my blog about your energy bubble.

Balancing our energy field requires significant awareness of ourselves and our beliefs and how they are created. 

Masculine and Feminine Energy

Masculine energy is about boundaries within oneself. The ability to do what is right for the single person, despite what is happening around them. Masculine energy is the action-taker and decision-maker within us.

Feminine energy is about being and creating who you are. It has a nurturing, fragile quality. It is the potential to create something that leads us into the action masculine. 

The Balancing act

 It is important to know that there is no good or bad masculine or feminine energy. Either can be expressed negatively, when things are out of balance, but it is normally from an incorrect relationship with the two energies, rather than one being worse than the other. We all have both in our own systems and they work like an orchestra playing loud at times and quite at others.

As always for the kids, it is about modeling these things as much as possible and to give them a vocabulary. Give them equal worth as well. Making sure that everyone values both the being and the doing within each other. In kids class we are going to talk about those spaces more and how we can balance them out. 

 

Class notes: Personal Power and Truth

These are class notes for week six of Beginner Kid's Class.

Energetic Vocabulary Words (revisiting):

Cords – We all know what a cord to the outlet in the wall is. But we are going to talk about how we “plug in” to each other and people plug into us. An energetic cord is simply an energetic connection with someone else. Sometimes we need to cut them off.

Aura - The energy field around you that is emanating your life force energy. It should be one arm’s length around you in all directions, including above and below you.

Introduction:

We have discussed protection, centering, cords, etc. before. We are continuing on this topic because this is what it is all about! We are going to discuss our own personal power, truth and the power and truth of others. We are going to go into how to tell when information is yours vs. the information of someone else. We will talk about sensing the energy of ourselves and watch it rise and fall as we are going through truth and false statements. 

We will work on how to strengthen their energy to relationships that weaken them. We will do this by grounding, releasing and centering them in their own power. We will also focus more on what it means to be draining other people’s power as well.

Exercises:

Arm press – you may have seen me do this in class. The kids love it. We have them put them arm up and then we test if their energy is strong or weak by pressing down, gently, on their arm. You can demonstrate to your kids, relationships that drain their energy. They will be taught how to correct it, so if you find a weakness, you can have them button their energy up and retest it.

Power center – This game will take a few kids or the whole family to be played effectively. Get pieces of paper for the number of people playing. Write “Power Drain” on one piece of paper and leave the rest blank. Put the papers in a bowl and let each person pick a paper. Don’t let each other see. Sit in a circle with your eyes closed. The person who got the power drain card will focus on pulling energy from the rest of the circle. Then open your eyes and see if you can guess who the power drain is. Ask the “drainer” if they can feel the difference.

Daily energy set up:

Ask your children to ground, center and put up protection for the day. Have them spend a few minutes thinking about their energy in the morning and before bed. Keeping their energy healthy will become habitual just like brushing their teeth. 

Class notes: Authenticity

These notes are from week five of Beginners Kid's Class.

Energetic Vocabulary Words:

Authentic – Being yourself, the way you were meant to be, without anyone else’s ideas of what you “should be” mixed up in it.

Introduction:

We will be discussing the art of just being you. This may sound obvious, but kids, just like adults, figure out quickly what makes them likable and what doesn’t. As much as we all want to be liked and want our kids to be liked, we also want them like themselves for who they are, just the way they are. Sometimes they try too hard to be something they aren’t which backfires on them because people see that they are not being honest. Maybe they pretend to like something they don’t or are mean to someone they wouldn’t normally be mean to.

We will not only talk about them being themselves, but we will talk about what other people do to put on their masks and how to navigate through that. This is a very important part of energy management because we often can sense the mismatch of someone’s true self from what they are presenting, but we invalidate it rather than trust it.

Exercises:

Puppet show

Have a puppet show! Have your kids show you the different parts of themselves through puppets. Give them different scenarios such as school. Ask them to show you themselves at school, on the playground, with mom and dad, and with friends. Ask them questions about that side of themselves. Do you like yourself in this situation? Can you be yourself? Why or why not?

If you discover that your child doesn’t feel safe to be themselves in a particular situation, explore that with puppets. Ask your kid’s puppet with your puppet what that part of them needs to feel more comfortable. The point is not to be all parts of you all of the time. It is appropriate to hold back parts at times. The point is that you aren’t creating new parts that aren’t even really you at all.

I like myself

Have your kid tell you five things they like about themselves and five things they don’t. (or as many as they can come up with) Talk about why they like these things and don’t like these things. Be on the lookout for anything that has to do with others such as “because my teacher says…” That is a good sign they only like it because they have discovered it is likable. You can explore it with questions like, why do you think that person likes it when you do that? Do YOU like it when you do that?

You will notice with these exercises that the older the kid is, the more likely they are to be formulating opinions about themselves based on the outside world. That is part of learning who we are in the world. This is not about judging it for right or wrong, but simply keeping them aware of it, so they remember who they are in the process of identifying themselves with the rest of the world.   

Goals, Dreams and Wishes

The energy we use to manifest our life is one of our most powerful tools. As we grow in our understanding of how we use thoughts to create things, the awareness of what we are creating and what we are responsible for can sometimes overwhelm us. When we feel overwhelmed we can choose to go inside and find the root of who we are and why we are creating what we are creating before moving forward.

Kids already know how to use this energy. They use it all the time. But the power of manifestation for children is limited by the beliefs of others, peer pressure, and the desire to do it “right.”

This month we are going to learn the word "manifesting" and work with the idea of goals, dreams and wishes. Then we will work on identifying things that are in children's space about manifesting what they desire and how to be mindful in their creations.

At home, you can work with your children to have them set their own goals and tell you their dreams. Sometimes as parents we want to control the outcome because we feel responsible for our children’s happiness. Sometimes we tell them not to wish for their dreams to come true and try to manage their expectations. Check where you might be going into overboard with these things. It's okay to dream and it's okay to be disappointed when our dreams don’t work out. Don’t be afraid to let them play with these concepts

Another thing to keep in mind is that everything we have in physical form started as an idea. It started in the non-physical realm. So have your children start putting form to their thoughts by drawing pictures, or writing in a journal or even making up a story about their dreams. Ask them to tell you where they will be the famous athletes or how they are going to feel on stage playing their favorite instrument.  We are expecting them to be those things, but we are teaching them to dream and explore themselves and find out what they really want by those desires.

Finally, be a good role model of expansive thinking. Limited thinking is a huge habit. We are working on realizing that limiting thoughts aren’t saving us from failure or disappointment; they are just holding us back from our dreams. Be willing to face your own limitations and let your kids lead you a bit. They haven’t lived a lifetime of success and failure yet so know they don’t know. Your wisdom isn’t always relevant to where their lives are now to where yours was when you were their age.

Comments are always welcome, please share your thoughts below. 

Class notes: Contagious Energy

These notes are from week four of Beginner's Kid's class.

Energetic Vocabulary Words:

Contagious Energy – Energy that can literally be passed around through contact.

Reintroduction of vocabulary words:

Grounding or getting yourself grounded – Aligns your mind, body and spirit, by reminding the energies of the person that they have a physical body that is connected to the earth. It works well to calm, focus and solidify a person.

Centered – To be balanced in your physical space, usually associated with feelings of calmness, strength and clarity.

Protection - Providing yourself with a boundary between your energy and the rest of the world.

Aura - The energy field around you that is emanating your life force energy. It should be one arm’s length around you in all directions, including above and below you.

Cords - An energetic connection we share with someone else. I could, if left unattended to, cause an energy leak or drain. 

Introduction:

It isn't just the flu that we can catch from each other, we can actually catch energy. We will be discussing how you can pass around energy, bad moods, stress, pain, etc. We will talk about how to be aware of these energies when they come into your space. We will talk about how to shield yourself and even helps others be aware of the energy they are spreading. Finally we will discuss some of the contagious energy they might be passing around.

Exercises:

1)     Contagious tag. Each person goes around with different color stickers or different color sticky notes. Assign each color as a different energy. i.e. anger, stress, giggles, hyper. Then have everyone run around trying to stick each other with their stickers. After five minutes or so, stop and see who did the best sharing their energy by who stuck the most stickers and on the most people.

2)     Contagious telephone. Sit in a circle. Assign one person to whisper a contagious energy into the ear of the person to their left. Have that person share that energy into the ear of the person to the left and so on, until you come around. This energy will more than likely make it around the room without anyone messing it up. (unlike random words)

3)     Practice sharing positive energy. Spend a few minutes trying to send positive energy to each other. i.e. giggles, fun, smiles. See how quickly you can spread it.

Always have fun! 

Class Notes: Iwanna monster and other energetic beasts

These are notes from week three of Beginner's Kids Class. 

Energetic Vocabulary Words:

Present - the act of letting go of thoughts and energies related to the past or the future. It is a powerful tool to understand what is the next action to take now. 

Beings - We are going to call the energy of negative thought forms beings. This allows us to disassociate from the negative thought and make conscious choices. 

Introduction:

Have you ever been in the mall just to pick something up and find yourself wanting (and sometimes actually buying) something you never even thought about before? Or maybe you have over at a friend’s house looking a new purchase and thinking, “I want that!” This is an energetic influence outside yourself that you unconsciously pick up. 

It can happen in a big place in the mall or a little place like your friends closet. Basically the energy has been put there, either on accident or on purpose, and you mistake it for your energy. You think you really do “wanna” and if you stop and think about it, you may not as much as you feel like you do.

Here is a list of beings to look out for.  

  • Iwanna monster – lives at malls, friends new purchases, store and any place you are meant to look around to purchase.
  • Anger beast – This is the energy you see your children pass from one to the other. First one is screaming on the floor, then that one is fine and the other one starts. Anger beasts are basically the energy of frustration, anger and struggle that comes into your space and bounces around the house. It isn’t always clear where it starts, but sometimes an outside person brings it in or work or anything that can cause stress. It the just rides the wave of whatever can cause agitation.
  • Judgment Coacher – This is the energy of judgment that goes back and forth. “Oh yeah! Judge me?! Well then I will judge you.” This happens among family, friends and enemies alike, no one is immune so don’t kid yourself. J
  • Unfairness Fairy – This monster preys on those children that perceive that they have been unjustly treated, someone got something they should get.  This is very frequent among siblings as some older children have privileges that younger children don’t, which causes the younger child to fall prey.  On the flip side, older children may fall prey, when they have more household responsibilities than the younger child. 
  • Pity poltergeist – This is the monster that loves pity of any form. It can make an illness worse and a boo boo feel huge. It can make something last for weeks, which should have been over in seconds.
  • Perfect Prince or Princess – This sounds like a nice monster, but when it hits it can make you do crazy things to be perfect or at least appear to be. Friends can share these or you might have a rebellious one that fights against the perfect prince(ss).

Exercises:

Next store outing, warn your children about the Iwanna monster and then catch each other starting to say “I wanna” or “can I have?” You can say “The IWANNA MONSTER GOT YOU!” Kids love to catch their parents, so be sure to play it with them and let them pick you out.

Make up your own monsters and have fun catching them run around the house!

Class Notes: Centered and Protected

These are notes from week two of Beginner's Kids Class. 

Energetic Vocabulary Words:

Centered: To be balanced in your physical space, usually associated with feelings of calmness, strength and clarity. Located in the body just below the rib cage. 

Protection: Providing yourself with a boundary between your energy and the rest of the world using imagery arms length around you.

Aura: The energy field around you that is emanating your life force energy. It should be one arm’s length around you in all directions, including above and below you.

Introduction:

We will be discussing being centered and how to protect your energy field from outside influence. Your child will learn about what it means to be centered in your body and know the difference between your energy and someone else’s. We will discuss a special place they can go inside themselves to feel protected and centered. It will be a way for them to visualize their space and clear of any foreign energy.

We will discuss different ways to protect your energies including the idea of a protective color around you in all directions or other substances.

Exercise:

Have your child imagine the center of their energy. It will look like their favorite place to be. They will have drawn a picture of what this looks like, but they can change it up any time they want. 

Here are some questions to ask them:

  • What does your space look like?
  • Is there anyone in there with you? If yes, asked them to clear them out. (they will know how)

There are no rules; their imagination is their strongest gift here. Let them explore and tell you what they discover.

Here are some scenarios where you might have them prepare clean out their center. 

The beginning of the day.

  • If they are acting more like a friend they have been with than themselves.
  • When they are feeling powerless or as if life is unfair.
  • When they seem hyper, anxious or fearful.

Other ways to center your energies:

  • Deep breathing
  • Becoming aware of every body part, one at a time

Let them be playful with this topic and explore it for themselves. Talk with them about how it makes them feel to be centered and what they notice.

Daily energy set up:

Ask your child to ground, center and put up protection for the day. Have them spend a few minutes thinking about their energy in the morning and before bed. Keeping their energy healthy will become habitual just like brushing their teeth.  We will learn two more tools by the end of class. 

Class Notes: Grounding Exercises

This is from my Kid's Energy class, the first lesson. 

Grounding

Energetic Vocabulary Word: Grounding or getting yourself grounded – Aligns your mind, body and spirit, by reminding the energies of the person that they have a physical body that is connected to the earth. It works well to calm, focus and solidify a person. It also prevents accidents.

Introduction to parents:

Ground cords are great visualizations. 

We will be discussing grounding. Your child will have learned about what a grounding cord is and how to visualize it. A grounding cord is a visualization technique to ground your energies. This is just one of many ways to do this. We will also discuss other ways, which I have listed some below.

A grounding cord is attached at the tail bone and dropped down to the center of the earth also attached. You can use pins or other visualizations to attach it, but you want a firm connection. The grounding cord will be hollow and wide as your hips with the intention that you will be able to release energies down this cord throughout the day.

Exercise:

Have your child imagine their grounding cord, going down to the center of the earth. They will have drawn a picture of what their grounding cord looks like, but they can change it up any time they want.  Here are some questions to ask them:

  • What color is your cord?
  • Is it firmly attached, can you pull on it and make sure it doesn’t move?
  • What texture is the cord? Is it soft, rough, bumpy, etc.?

There are no rules except that it is hollow and attached. Let them explore and tell you what they discover. They are wise too! This should be fun.

Just for fun, you can test if they have a grounding cord on by gently pushing them on the chest. If they sway backward, their grounding cord can be strengthened. Ask them to strengthen it by intention and test again.

Here are some scenarios where you might have them prepare their grounding cord.  It is good to refresh your cord often.

  • The beginning of the day
  • Going to a crowded place
  • When they seem hyper, anxious or fearful
  • When feeling nauseous or hurt
  • When preparing for test or performance

Other ways to ground your energies:

  • Visualize roots growing out of your feet and into the center of the earth.
  • Walk outside with your bare feet in the grass.
  • Bring awareness down into the bottom of your torso and down into your feet.
  • Strenuous exercise that requires intense body awareness.  

Let them be playful with this topic and explore it for themselves. Talk with them about how it makes them feel to ground and what they notice. Comments or questions are welcome below.

Emotional Triggers

When we get emotional, we struggle to be rational. It is true for all of us. And what does the emotional self really want anyway? To feel validated and heard. When we don't feel heard we escalate our emotional state even further.

Some adults have learned to stuff this side of themselves and even some kids have, but what if stuffing it isn't serving us? What if there was a better way to deal with our kid's emotional triggers and our own? There is!

Using emotions as a gauge rather than as something to be managed helps us shift our focus. We always say our kids don't come with manuals, but they do come with gauges, which give us information about them. Unfortunately, because of how we interact with our own emotions we often miss these signs our kids are giving us. 

Emotional Intelligence

This is not a new topic. This has been discussed for years. So why aren't we using our emotions more in our energy interactions? I find that often times people are still miscalculating their own perceptions of others. They are often times dismissing things they pick up about other's emotions, telling themselves "maybe it's just me". 

In the last decade or so, science has discovered a tremendous amount about the role emotions play in our lives. Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and abilities to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life, including family relationships.
— John Gottman - Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child

The first step to helping your child's ability to use their emotions as gauges to what is happening around them is for you to understand and validate yourself more in this area. 

Learn to notice sets you off into negative emotions without judgment or criticism, but with curiosity and understanding of the message behind the emotion. Having emotions is an evolved way of being, but we often treat it as if it is the opposite. 

Emotional guidance system

I don't like the concept  of "coping" with or "controlling" emotions. It makes it sound like you are overcoming an emotion, rather than interacting with it. I suggest you neutralize your view of every emotion and use it more like looking down at your fuel gauge and seeing it on "E" or "F". It is just a state of being and as you get closer to "E" you know you need to start to consider stopping to fill up. Same thing for negative emotions. As you get closer to negative emotions, it means it is time to stop and consider why the child isn't feeling "full" and address it that way. 

Abraham Hicks talked about your emotions as a sensor of vibration. When you are feeling wonderful, you are in alignment with yourself and your true vibration. When you are feeling terrible, you are in vibrational alignment with something other than yourself. This is a great recording to understand this further. 

Reading the gauge

It is really important to remove your own emotional triggers to your child's emotions. You can do this by consciously connecting with times that you "loose it" and do your own work on that. You can use a counselor or EFT. Click here for a simple article on this topic further. 

Once you master your own triggers, you can passively experience your children's emotions, especially the bad ones. You can ask why your child is not in alignment with their natural, happy, playful self. What is triggering them. Then see if you can offer them a shift, through your recognition of what is out of alignment.

Give it a try, it is easier than you think. 


Presence

One of our five tools for protection is presence. Being in the "now" as Eckhart Tolle would say. 

Presence is more than just being there.
— Malcom Forbes

Being fully present is something we find challenging to do. We can easily bring up the past or ruminate on the future in our minds. We can be in our heads thinking, thinking, thinking while act out our day to day lives. Our kids probably have an easier time than we do being present. But it is something to learn and hang on to early, so you don't have to correct it in the future. 

Here are some things to consider regarding this topic. 

Role models

The sands of time.

The sands of time.

I will always say that being a good role model is the best way to teach a kid anything. But with presence, this is even more important. If you are not there being present with your child, how can you expect them to want to be there. It is like showing up to a party and you are the only one there. Really listen to what your child has to say, make eye contact, engage with them. They know when you are faking it. When you can't be present, because you are thinking or doing something else. Just let them know that. Tell them you need space to be present with what you are doing and you will be back with them in a moment. 

Turn anticipation into a foundation

We have to plan our future. It is just the way we live our lives. But once you put it on the calendar, leave it there and off your mind. If you have to do things to prepare for that calendar event, make that about what is needed to be done today. Be present with the preparation, not the future your are preparing for but the foundation you are building today for that event. Teach your children how to plan for events by enjoying the journey to get there as much as the anticipation of the final goal. 

Clock time vs. perceived time

"Time flies when you are having fun." 

This is so true, but our perception of time speeds up as we get older. To us, what feels like a day can feel like an eternity to our children. When we ask them to be patient or wait for something, it can be very challenging to them. Keep that in mind as you are working with them on time. Their perception is different than yours. 

Gratitude

If your children are having trouble focusing on what they have vs. what they want, encourage them to refocus on their present moment. They are not always able to see what they have when there are so many things trying to get their attention on what they want. Commercials are especially hard on kids, because they don't have the filters we do and the advertisers know this. One way to help your kids be present is to use gratitude. Feeling thankful for the things that are going well, the things we have and the people in our lives. Gratitude does wonders for presence. 

Most of all, this is about helping your kids focus on what is happening. Help them draw strength from what they can do in the present moment.