Insightful Inspirations - Leanne Holitza

Energy healing, intuitive guidance, oracle cards

Leanne Holitza is an Intuitive healer working with your energy and thoughts to align you with your highest potential. Allowing you to experience more of what you already have, making room for more.  This site offers help with all areas of life through individual sessions, classes, yoga sessions, and more. My expertise also includes working with intuitive children. 

Filtering by Tag: Comparing

Don't spread the discontent

Often we  are a cluster of pain programs and suffering. Natalie Merchant's "Break Your Heart" lyrics "don't spread the discontent, don't spread the lies" is excellent advice to move past that stage into one of contentment. 

You have heard it a thousand times from me and other self-help guidance counselors to "think positive" or "love yourself first." Of course you know that is what you are supposed to do. So why aren't you doing it?

The Shame of Thinking Positively

Thinking positive isn't always well received by our peers and authority figures. Often when we come to our bosses with good news, they shame us into noticing what is broken and needs to be fixed. We get obsessed at looking at what isn't working as a way to try and encourage it to work. 

Our peers perceive our positive thinking as naive or thoughtless. They see us taking our eyes away from what needs to be done to focus on the flakey behavior of "free thinkers" and rebels.

See if you can find your positive-thinking shamers and as kindly as you can, ask them to help you shift. Make them your biggest advocates for positive thinking. If they aren't up to the job, or you don't feel like you can ask them, work on releasing their opinion from the top of the meaningful pile. Try and reduce how seriously you take their opinion and know they are projecting their own limitations onto you.

Suffering to Deserve

Another thing we often do is "suffer enough to deserve."  Sick enough to deserve help. Worked hard enough to deserve a break. Struggled enough to deserve something better. 

Catch yourself "suffering to deserve." Shift it up and allow yourself permission to deserve from a different place. Deserve help because we all desire connection and to help each other. Deserve a break because you are always doing your best. Deserve something better because you have learned from your mistakes and are ready to learn from your successes too.

Expectations and Assumptions

You cannot pretend you don't feel bad, that is suppression of your energy. But what I am suggesting is to check in when you are stuck in automatic pilot with feeling bad. You can feel bad and then give yourself permission to feel good.

Even when you look around and don't see any good yet. This isn't a fake it activity. This is just about realizing that in what you expect to see is what you will see. If I suggest to you to notice all the blue cars on the road today, you will. Your mind enhances what you focus on. If you expect to see kindness and love from people, you will. Change up your expectations to find negative experiences lurking around every corner. Change up your assumptions about people and how you will be treated and see what happens next. This doesn't mean there won't be people who will hurt you or be rude, but your mind will hold onto the positive experiences more easily.

Here is more on how beliefs are driving your experiences from my Coaching Club videos.

My Book Is Here!

I have been so busy that I haven't had time to blog about my news!  I have published a book! Insightful Inspirations, conversation starters with your authentic self. http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000531426/Insightful-Inspirations.aspx This book is a compilation of blogs, work with others and just general wisdom I have recieved. It is designed to be held in your hand, holding a question in your mind and then open it up to some perspective. I hope to have a card deck that goes with it one day. The artist who did my cover, Stephanie Ingraham with Siyo, will be doing that artwork.

I have to admit that I was pretty nervous to put this book out. Even though I have had it written for over two years, there is just so much exposure with putting this out. I have already found one typo, despite having several proofs and am not sure I like how it printed with the questions on the back of the page. But the gift of this experience is that it is a perfect healing opportunity for my perfection issues! It doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. That is the amazing gift I will find here, how to just trust and accept my imperfections.

On the flip side, I am even more worried it will do well! :) Fear of success I guess. But part of me worries that I won't have time and won't appreciate the exposure. Again, another amazing opportunity to face my fears and heal. I am catching myself saying "It is just a little book" or "Yeah, no big deal". Wow, who knew I would have such a hard time embracing my accomplishment! I am releasing this issue as well and look forward to whatever this brings.

I have been using the book on my own since I received it and I have to say, I love having it in a format I can hold in my hand. It is so much fun to use! (If I do say so myself.) So I hope you all will take a moment to check it out and find as much value out of it as I do.

Insightful Inspiration

What have you delayed putting out into the world because you are afraid of having it fail? Or maybe you are afraid of it suceeding! What is the worst that can happen? What is the best that can happen? Is it worth the risk?

If you have already faced something like this, share with us. We can all learn from you.

Drop the judgement!

Judgement is such a sticky thing. Fear of judgement makes us second guess ourselves, make bad choices and pretend to be something we aren't.  Love of judgement make us scrutinize the people we love and the friends we love to hate. Addiction to judgement make us judge people we only sort of know thinking we know them because we "know the type". My guess is, most of you are doing all three. The truth is judgement is the thing that keeps us separated, not connected. It keeps you down, not up. It holds you back, it doesn't push you ahead.

Some inside scoop on me...

I have a VERY twice exceptional child. Anyone who knows me, knows my struggles (because it is kind of consuming). But it very interesting to me how even when you see my authentic, heartfelt struggles, people still judge. It is probably the hardest place in the world to be judged; my mothering, my child, my perfect love. My kid is not obviously impaired in anyway. In fact, he comes across as being just defiant and self absorbed, albeit extremely intelligent. Even his own grandfather struggles to know how to "accept" him for what he is.

You are probably curious by now what is "wrong" with my child. The truth is NOTHING. Okay that is the spiritual Mom answer. The diagnosis is complex and anyone who evaluates him, says he doesn't fit even the molds of the diagnosis he has. ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder, Coordination Disorder... who knows really. The fact is, my kids is lovable, extremely capable, intelligent, and AMAZING. When I read his soul, it is wise and uncaring about the things us younger souls want to struggle with. When I see him in the world, he pokes at the very core of the illusion, forcing people to second guess their automatic pilot mode and wake up. His questioning is authentic, not defiant, and quite frankly good for us to hear. We once were grilling him on his grades and he sat smiling. My husband said "You don't get it!" He said, "Yes I do, I have bad grades and I need to focus more on that. But it doesn't have to affect my present happiness." Wow! I want to think like that more often.

My point of my motherly vent is, that we are all so quick to judge. So quick to deny someone acceptance. We forget how that feels when it is done to us. Especially on the topics that we try so hard to do "right".

Let me give you one metaphor that you have heard before from me. If you love a child for it's mistakes, nurture them through it struggles, have compasion for their bad choices, it will grow up to be a loving, nurturing, forgiving person. Because you taught it how. If you scold them, accuse them, shame them and judge them, it will grow up to be a scolding, accusing, shaming and judging person. Who would you like to foster in your world?

Insightful Inspiration

Take this week to think about how much judgement is running your life. See if you happy with letting it run your life. "Good judgement" is important for yourself, but when it extends into situations you are not familiar with, it is not helpful to you or the other person for you to pass judgement on it. Work on bringing awareness to who you are categorizing, rejecting and downright making feel miserable with your negative energy about them. Pull it back. Own up to what you are sending out and stop it! Love yourself, love each other and do you best to love the world we live in. It isn't perfect, but things don't get better when you judge it, they get better when you nurture it.

He hit me first!

So the school of life is raging on me right now. I am learning about acceptance in the face of judgement in a big way and in my most tender spot... my kids. But this is the best place to learn! It has come to my attention that I occasionally engage in a game of judgement ping pong with people. Yes I admit it. Me who says to release judgement, I do it too. Here is how I was justifying it. I was only judging you AFTER you judged me. The whole "he hit me first" thing. Geez! What a reason to hit back. If we all did this, we never do anything else but hit back. We have to put down our paddles in the game and not play the other side. The reason we don't do this is because we are afraid we will continue to be paddled and we will have nothing to defend ourselves with. But NOTHING ever gets solved out of fear based thinking. SO, I am officially putting down the paddle.

Here is an example. Let's say your friend is telling you that your way of thinking about politics is incorrect. What do you do, you defend yourself. You normally do this by judging their way of thinking instead and we are off in a battle of judgement.

Insightful Inspiration of the week

Put down the judgement paddle. You don't have to send that hit back. Just notice it, set some boundaries and move on. You don't have to judge someone else, just because they are judging you. Send them love and light and realize they are only doing it because they are dealing with something within themselves. If we put down our weapons and not hit back, we might find the world to be a much more peaceful place to live.

Comparing yourself to the world?

One of the biggest blocks to our happiness is comparing ourselves to others, or worse yet, comparing our children to others. When we compare ourselves to others we are expecting ourselves to have the same experience as someone else... which is impossible! No one has had the same experiences, with the same personality, the same way, ever. So why do we try and do this.  Comparing ourselves to others generally makes us unhappy. It creates a sense of separateness from other people that is competitive and restrictive. 

For example, lets say you are comparing your level of fitness to someone else down the street. You either wish you were as fit as them or maybe you are judging them for not being as fit as you. Either way, you have now created a gap between you and that other person that doesn't allow you to connect. Connecting to others is what heals us, makes us grateful for our lives and teaches us about diversity. Why would be want to block that off?

This is just one example, there are so many ways we compare ourselves to others. Sometimes it is to make us feel okay. "Well she drinks like a fish, so I am not even that bad." This may not create a gap with connection in the same way, but it creates a block. It connects us to a part of ourselves that we are afraid to let go of and we are trying to justify. For example, maybe you want more time with your husband or wife but you see you get more time than other people do with your spouse, so you shouldn't complain. This is a block to asking for what you need, which in turn, does create a block. 

This nature to compare ourselves to each other also can lead to violence, distrust, and fear of being judged. 

So, take a moment and notice where you might be comparing yourself to someone else. Maybe it is something simple or your whole life, but either way, notice what it is doing to your sense of center and self. See if you can just be okay with where you are and where they are, embracing the difference. 

Wishing you a compassionate week.