Last week, a client sat down across from me and spent the first ten minutes of our session apologizing for taking up my time. She’s brilliant at what she does and she hadn’t done anything wrong. She was apologizing for being in the room long enough to ask for help.
I see this a lot and I used to do it myself.
We are spirit having a physical experience and somewhere along the way, many of us forgot we’re allowed to actually be here. All the way here…in the body we’re standing in.
I believe you chose this body and life on purpose. Yet so many of us move through our days only half moved in, like a guest at a party who keeps checking whether they were really invited.
We tend to call that being humble. Most of the time it’s your self-esteem in need of some attention.
Poor self-esteem rarely shows up as “I don’t like myself”. It usually looks like shrinking, talking yourself out of asking for that raise, downplaying something you’re proud of, or staying quiet in the meeting because someone louder might push back. It’s subtle, so we almost never call it by its name.
Here’s what I want you to know: This feeling lives in your body, which means your body is also where you can find your way back.
Your Anchor Point
Find the spot just below your rib cage, right where things start to soften. I think of this as your anchor into your physical form. It’s where your energetic self and your physical self meet.
There’s a science side to this too. Your diaphragm, the main muscle you breathe with, sits right there. When we feel unsure of ourselves, our breath tends to get shallow and stay high in the chest. Letting your breath drop down into this spot can help tell your nervous system it’s safe to settle in.
Try bringing your attention there now. Just notice it. You don’t have to do anything else yet.
I ask my clients to check in with this spot before a hard conversation, a difficult meeting, or before they hit send on the email they’ve rewritten four times. The conversation might go the same way it would if they didn’t do this, but they’ll be fully present and that tends to change a lot.
When you’re centered, you aren’t pretending to be confident or repeating an affirmation you only half believe. You’re simply present, in your body, taking up the space that is already yours.
You belong in your own life. You don’t need to earn your seat or explain why you’re in the room. You’re allowed to be here.
Insightful Inspiration
When do you notice you are you only halfway in your body? Where have you been floating above your life instead of standing fully in it?
Place your hand just below your rib cage and take a slow breath down into it. Notice what it’s like to be present with yourself instead of pulling away. Is there one place today where you can take up a little more space than usual? What would it feel like to stop apologizing for being here?
