How can you manifest what you are worth if you don't know what you are worth and you aren't facing what is blocking you from that knowledge. Self worth is a great place to start in figuring out how you are blocked to manifesting what you want.Read More
Filtering by Tag: Authenticity
For the most part people don’t see you, they see their idea of you, through their own filters of what they are. It is important to remember this when taking feedback from other’s or allowing other people to be the directors of your inner story.
On the flip side, it is also important for you to remember you do it too. Take ownership of your projections as your own inner truth and you have a whole new way of working with subconscious mind. Working with the subconscious mind, helps you see how your reality is being shaped by beliefs that you have, that you don’t even know you are manifesting from.Read More
Emotions seem to be the easiest thing to share amongst friends; it's almost like a virus. One person feels happy and passes on to the next and the next and so on. That is ideal... but not always how it goes.
More often one person in line is angry and yelling at the cashier which puts you in a "what is wrong with people?" mood which leads you to go home and yell at your kids, which makes them mad at the each other and so on. Emotions are contagious and the sooner we learn to recognize the difference between our emotions and the people we are with, the easier time we will have in knowing ourselves.
Empathy as a survival skill
Empathy is defined by dictionary.comas "the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another." If you are experiencing the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another, how do you know you are acting in your own best interest and not the person you are empathizing with? If you are identifying with someone else's emotions and making decisions based on those emotions, they may not be right for you.
Empathy can be a survival skill. When we are born we can't talk yet and don't know much about the reality we have just arrived in. With this skill of empathy, we can read each others thoughts and emotions and make decisions on how we will engage with the environment.
"What am I really feeling?"
Things go off track when we don't know where our thoughts and feelings start and the other person's begin. We are always picking up on each other's energy in subtle ways. We feel each others state of mind and often change our behavior and feelings about the situation accordingly.
If you can begin to acknowledge when this sharing of energy is happening, you can begin to understand yourself more clearly and start setting new intentions. By paying attention to your ability to pick up on other people's thoughts and emotions, you begin to see when you are letting someone else's negativity win.
By becoming aware of how easily you change course based on what another person is doing or feeling you will be able to stop being a victim of others and empower yourself to dictate your mood and actions.
What mood are you bringing to the room?
It is also helpful to observe those around you, especially children, as they pick up on your moods. Watch for that moment from when they switch over to what they were feeling independently to what they are feeling when they notice you. Then ask yourself, is this how I want others to feel around me?
You have more power than you think. If you walk into a room defensive and uptight, that is how the room will respond. This isn't to control how everyone else is feeling, but just to set an intention within yourself of the influence you want to be in the world.
We are natural storytellers. We love to pass on information through stories. The story tellers of indigenous tribes are generally held in very high esteem. We read books, watch movies and have conversations revolving around telling stories.
There is a risk with passing on stories, and that is misinformation. We tend to pass on stories no matter what their validity. If it feels real to us, it is real. This is why we have websites like Snopes, so we can check out facts or find out we have been duped. This Slate article speaks of a mythical story of panic, reportedly caused by Orsen Welles' fake broadcast on a Martian invasion. This article emphasizes to the fact that we can can pass on untrue stories for a very long time.
The Stories We Tell Ourselves
How does this play out with subtle energies? Well, not only do we tell our stories to others, but the stories we tell ourselves are the ones we can get most duped by. First, because we generally don't share our full stories to others we don't get called out on how false they are. Second, because the voice we hear loudest is our own. Whatever the story is we tell ourselves, is the story we believe, defend and create in our lives.
For me, the story of how much time I have versus how much time I think I need is never in balance. It isn't an uncommon story. I share this story with many others around me, which makes it worse. We all perpetuate the time struggle.
When a story becomes an addition
As I become more stressed, I start to spin my story deeper and deeper. Anyone who tries to convince me that my story is unreasonable is likely to get a defensive response and I weave the further the story in order to convince the other person that my stress is valid. This does me no good on an energy level, but I am hooked and I do it anyway. It is like a drug and I lose my power to it.
As I have worked with people over the years, I have seen clear energetic addictions in most people's lives, some are healthy, others are not. Most of it has to do with how you learned to be in the world. What your parents, teachers and peers showed you your life was like.
As much as you can blame your parents or society for your imbalances it is ultimately your awareness and intention to change that bringing you into balance again. For whatever reason, your soul wanted to learn that lesson by being in it and then bring yourself out of it. So now is the time to change the story. Start finding new ways to tell yourself how to get things done or engage with your friends.
Some other examples of negative energetic addictions include drama, anger, sadness, hopelessness, victimization and "work." You may even use these states of being to motivate you. Motivate you to go to work, make a change or just get out of bed in the morning. Paying attention is always the key to these things.
Take a moment to notice your energy addictions. Where do you spend a lot of your time? In a state of peace, stress, anger, etc.? Is it possible that you are addicted to this frequent state of being? Take a minute to make a pact with yourself to notice that this energy is a choice. Do you want to choose differently today? Give it a try. Tell yourself you want a new story.
You can also ask some follow-up questions, for example, is this a mental addiction or an emotional one? Where do I store this story in my body? Can I get the same results with a more positive spin on this story? I would love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to share.
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Doing this work has given me a very clear sense of how much I am addicted to people pleasing. Oh man do I want to make people happy, almost to a fault. However I have also learned through this work that I can not control the information that is being given just to make you happy or tell you what you want to hear. I can give you the positive spin of things, which is the optimistic nature of your guides. But I can't tell you the things you want to hear and the answers you want to have just because you want them. Often time the answer is hidden from view. Just for the sake of the journey. The journey is yours to have and if you already have the map, you may not take all the paths you were meant to. So the truth is kept from you, to help you grow and learn. Some times people feel tricked by this stance. But your guides are just your guides. They don't have all the answers either, nor should they. This is your life to lead. Your answers to figure out.
So when people are seeking answers and not guidance, I am not the help you are looking for. But when you realize that you are always on the right path, it is just helpful to have a flashlight, then you working with your guides and your energy to find YOUR answers. I can help with that!
If you are looking for someone or something to give you the answers you seek, you are on a fruitless journey. However, if you are willing to see yourself as the answer to all that you want and are, you are on the right track. Others are brought into your life to guide you and help shed light on things, but it is never good for you to give them the power to have your answers. You will get false information and find yourself following thoughts and ideas that are not your own, which never leads you to your happiness. Use others in your life to gain perspective, but seek the truth within yourself in the end.
I have been so busy that I haven't had time to blog about my news! I have published a book! Insightful Inspirations, conversation starters with your authentic self. http://bookstore.balboapress.com/Products/SKU-000531426/Insightful-Inspirations.aspx This book is a compilation of blogs, work with others and just general wisdom I have recieved. It is designed to be held in your hand, holding a question in your mind and then open it up to some perspective. I hope to have a card deck that goes with it one day. The artist who did my cover, Stephanie Ingraham with Siyo, will be doing that artwork.
I have to admit that I was pretty nervous to put this book out. Even though I have had it written for over two years, there is just so much exposure with putting this out. I have already found one typo, despite having several proofs and am not sure I like how it printed with the questions on the back of the page. But the gift of this experience is that it is a perfect healing opportunity for my perfection issues! It doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful. That is the amazing gift I will find here, how to just trust and accept my imperfections.
On the flip side, I am even more worried it will do well! :) Fear of success I guess. But part of me worries that I won't have time and won't appreciate the exposure. Again, another amazing opportunity to face my fears and heal. I am catching myself saying "It is just a little book" or "Yeah, no big deal". Wow, who knew I would have such a hard time embracing my accomplishment! I am releasing this issue as well and look forward to whatever this brings.
I have been using the book on my own since I received it and I have to say, I love having it in a format I can hold in my hand. It is so much fun to use! (If I do say so myself.) So I hope you all will take a moment to check it out and find as much value out of it as I do.
What have you delayed putting out into the world because you are afraid of having it fail? Or maybe you are afraid of it suceeding! What is the worst that can happen? What is the best that can happen? Is it worth the risk?
If you have already faced something like this, share with us. We can all learn from you.
Judgement is such a sticky thing. Fear of judgement makes us second guess ourselves, make bad choices and pretend to be something we aren't. Love of judgement make us scrutinize the people we love and the friends we love to hate. Addiction to judgement make us judge people we only sort of know thinking we know them because we "know the type". My guess is, most of you are doing all three. The truth is judgement is the thing that keeps us separated, not connected. It keeps you down, not up. It holds you back, it doesn't push you ahead.
Some inside scoop on me...
I have a VERY twice exceptional child. Anyone who knows me, knows my struggles (because it is kind of consuming). But it very interesting to me how even when you see my authentic, heartfelt struggles, people still judge. It is probably the hardest place in the world to be judged; my mothering, my child, my perfect love. My kid is not obviously impaired in anyway. In fact, he comes across as being just defiant and self absorbed, albeit extremely intelligent. Even his own grandfather struggles to know how to "accept" him for what he is.
You are probably curious by now what is "wrong" with my child. The truth is NOTHING. Okay that is the spiritual Mom answer. The diagnosis is complex and anyone who evaluates him, says he doesn't fit even the molds of the diagnosis he has. ADHD, Sensory Integration Disorder, Coordination Disorder... who knows really. The fact is, my kids is lovable, extremely capable, intelligent, and AMAZING. When I read his soul, it is wise and uncaring about the things us younger souls want to struggle with. When I see him in the world, he pokes at the very core of the illusion, forcing people to second guess their automatic pilot mode and wake up. His questioning is authentic, not defiant, and quite frankly good for us to hear. We once were grilling him on his grades and he sat smiling. My husband said "You don't get it!" He said, "Yes I do, I have bad grades and I need to focus more on that. But it doesn't have to affect my present happiness." Wow! I want to think like that more often.
My point of my motherly vent is, that we are all so quick to judge. So quick to deny someone acceptance. We forget how that feels when it is done to us. Especially on the topics that we try so hard to do "right".
Let me give you one metaphor that you have heard before from me. If you love a child for it's mistakes, nurture them through it struggles, have compasion for their bad choices, it will grow up to be a loving, nurturing, forgiving person. Because you taught it how. If you scold them, accuse them, shame them and judge them, it will grow up to be a scolding, accusing, shaming and judging person. Who would you like to foster in your world?
Take this week to think about how much judgement is running your life. See if you happy with letting it run your life. "Good judgement" is important for yourself, but when it extends into situations you are not familiar with, it is not helpful to you or the other person for you to pass judgement on it. Work on bringing awareness to who you are categorizing, rejecting and downright making feel miserable with your negative energy about them. Pull it back. Own up to what you are sending out and stop it! Love yourself, love each other and do you best to love the world we live in. It isn't perfect, but things don't get better when you judge it, they get better when you nurture it.
We are finding it hard to trust anything any more. What once seemed certain is no longer and what someone tells us is going on can't be trusted. Gone are the days of being able to trust blindly. You can't look to others for the truth. Is all lost? Are we victims of a society that is gone wrong? Or maybe we are shifting to an age where we no longer look outside of ourselves to find the truth. We are shifting to the only thing we can trust is ourselves. However we don't even trust that! When we are making this shift to having to trust ourselves first we get resentful, angry and blame each other for this shift. We fight it and blame others "damn you, now I have to listen closer to myself next time!"
However, what if you could trust everything outside yourself because you could trust yourself, with 100% certainty, that you are always aligning with your highest good? What if you could see the wisdom of your ways without fear of mistakes, being taken advantage of, or going down a path you never intended? You can!
When you are in alignment with yourself, listening to your internal wisdom, seeing the beauty of your life from the connected eyes of trusting yourself, you see a world that free. You open up to your experiences because you aren't afraid of them. You experience things to the highest possible level because you trust your judgement of when to stop without second guessing. You engage fully in relationships without fear of misunderstanding another's intentions and getting hurt.
How do I trust myself on this level, you ask? Well, it starts with being willing to try to stop thinking of the concept of self trust is bad! It is the only thing you have, but when you have it, everything else can be trusted too. You have been doing it backwards. Start taking time to tune in and pay attention to your gut.
Start making a habit to listening to your gut. Start working on the issues that keep you from that trust in yourself. If you aren't trustworthy, why not? If you can't trust you, how can you expect anyone else to and how can you trust anyone else? I am not saying the voices in your head are all correct. But if you start to listen, you can start to tell the difference between what is good guidance and was isn't. This is one of the biggest questions you can ask yourself, can I be trusted? If you can't, time to find out why. Make a change so you can freely live your life without blame of others and without fear of yourself?
Okay, leave it to a clairvoyant with marketing background to compare relationships to Venn Diagrams, you may not event know what it is... but the picture to the left is a Venn Diagram. It is used to demonstrate where common elements come together in an otherwise separate concept. The dark part of the circle represents both concepts coming together in a common way. The way I relate this to relationships is that everyone connects to people in their lives in a common way (dark part of circles) it could be common interests, love, situations, etc. The circle represents you and the other person's energy, hopefully continuously flowing and bringing in new energy to the common relationship. Where we get into trouble is when these circles over lap too much and we become enmeshed or tangled up in each other's energy and we loose site of where we begin and other person stops. We loose ourselves in the relationship. We loose the ability to make decisions for ourselves (always taking into account the other person's desires first) and we forget what makes us independently happy and US.
Ultimately when we get too enmeshed, with each other, the energy gets stuck and things start to bounce off each other. We get resentful that things feel this way and because we are so enmeshed we blame the other person for the stickiness.
If we take time to untangle ourselves a bit and reestablish who we are in the connection, we bring fresh insight, passion and overall appreciation fot the connection. We find ourselves in the mix and take responsibility for the things we can control. This gives us the ability to find authentic power.
Relationships that overlap too little often just end. Which may be the appropriate things to happen if there is no common ground.
Insightful Inspiration of the week
Take a look at your most important relationships. This could be a significant other, a boss, a best friend and even your children. Are you allowing yourself and the other person to have their own space? Are you tapping into the fresh flow of energy by finding passions that exist beyond that relationship? See if there are any adjustments you want to make. See if you can find what your common connections are and seek out bringing fresh energy from yourself through self exploration, back to the relationship.
As always feel free to comment or ask questions. I am always interested.
Doesn't it seem like every inspirational, amazing person out there has a sad story to tell about their past? People like Oprah and Louise Hay have these amazing, struggles from the bottom to the top, stories to tell. It seems like you have to come upon hard times in order to truly be an amazing person. Go figure! I am not saying everyone has to suffer to be good or amazing. But it is difficult to know yourself if you haven't experienced the spectrum of life. You have to test yourself on these levels to truely know yourself! See the article I just wrote on testing your "good and "bad".
As the a spiritual person, I am often seeking to be higher vibrating, more open, and a better, lighter person. But in doing so, I can not deny myself the opposites of those things on some level. I can not pretend they don't exist in my world, because they do. Rather than ignore them or reject those "bad" things, I choose to learn from them, experience them if I must and allow it to teach me to go higher. It is that concept of knowing true joy through true sorrow.
Insightful Inspiration of the week
Test yourself on something you would label "bad". Perhaps it is an emotion, like anger. Perhaps it is an idea about how much money you "need" vs. what you can't live without. Just dig in on a topic you have put on one side of the spectrum and believe you must at all costs not cross. What would happen if you did cross it? What are you telling yourself about this? Can you let that belief go a little bit? Remove the resistance to that opposite end, maybe even experience a version of it.
This is an awesome time in your life to rise higher, meet new challenges and be even more authentic than you are today. But you can't do it without exploring all sides of the situation first. Have fun with it. Push yourself and be that next level of YOU.
Have an awesome week. As always comments are welcome or start a discussion with me on Facebook.
Again, if you aren’t familiar with Chakra’s review the post on first and seventh chakra’s first. There are more on communcation of the chakras in past blogs as well. The communication between the seventh and first chakra can be a very powerful one. This is our connection with ourselves as part of a whole. A whole what? A whole universe, consiousness, community, planet, you name it, you are part of more than youself, yet you are alone in your experiences as no one sees it the way you do.
This communication can be a powerful force in helping you understand who you are in a complete and balanced picture. It can give you the strength for follow all of your energy centers forward, because you trust yourself to be safe in the infinate power that is all of us. Neverending and always changing.
When this communication is blocked you feel victimized by the world. You feel disconnected from yourself as it relates to the rest of the world, you feel isolated, lost and sometimes completely depressed. When I read for people and this communication is blocked (which it often is one of the most blocked spaces) the person generally lacks enthusiasm to keep going. They don't know which direction to head and sometimes they are downright afraid to try.
You might feel like you don't belong here, that you are a stranger on this planet. You may have a "get them, before they get you" attitude. You might feel competition and insecurity around people who seem "better" than you. Bottom line is, you feel threatened by how separate you feel from the rest of the world.
Insightful Inspriation of the week
Notice where you are blocking yourself to the wisdom that is yours to have with the divine guidance of all that you are part of. Do you feel competitive and protective of your ideas? Do you feel like you have to get ahead before someone else does or there won't be room for both of you? Rest in the knowing that when we are in alignment with giving our gifts to the world, it is our unique gift to give and no one else has this to offer. They may do it similar to you, but it isn't the same, and those that need your gift will receive it and you will receive you rewards for sharing that gift. There is plenty to go around of what we all want, because none of us want exactly the same thing. This week, share your self authentically and openly, without fear that someone will take advantage of it, or abuse it. Give without expecation of receiving and allow things to unfold as they will.
Do you feel alone and as if no one understands you? No one does understand you completely. No one sees the world though your eyes. Your perception is made up of a complex matrix of your personality, experiences, concepts of the world and soul purpose. You are not meant to be understood fully, as you are unique and divine in your difference. Embrace the safety of knowing no one knows anyone on this dimension completely. No one is understood fully, yet there is nothing to understand. Let go of the need to convince others that your perception is accurate. It is... and so is everyone else's no matter how different it is from yours.
This weeek, just feel safe to be who you are and have peace in knowing who you are as one individual and one as a collective.
As always, I encourage you to comment and discuss!
May your foundation be based in authenticity and peace.