If you are an empath, you know first hand how everyone is feeling because you feel it too. Empaths have the ability to sense a room with their own senses. They don’t just observe what is happening, they feel it. This can be a blessing and a curse.

The blessing is, you tend to be very compassionate and willing to see someone else’s side of things. The curse is you sometimes can’t tell the difference between your feelings and someone else’s. Learning to manage your empathetic side can turn this skill into a healing gift. Learn more about how to use this gift in my course on energy healing.

Separation and connection are two fundamental aspects of human experience. We are separate individuals with our own unique thoughts, feelings, and set of experiences. Yet we create the reality of who we are as individuals through the eyes of others. Our lives are intertwined with the lives of others, and our actions have a ripple effect on the world around us and how we see ourselves in it.

Let's get real, no one goes through life without the sting of betrayal. It is part of the journey we are on. As you become more aware of the concept that you create your own reality, you must also take responsibility for everything you experience as something you have created.

Although it is a cliché, it is absolutely true. We are playing out energetic patterns of reality we have implanted in our unconsciousness. We attract the same bad job, relationship, friends, etc. (or good ones) because of how we connect with that pattern of relationships.

Consciously using your energy field is easy. The trick is to do it when you are under pressure. The best way to flex this muscle is to practice, so when the pressure comes, you already know how it feels to be balanced.  Giving conscious attention to your energy, arms length around you, is all you really need. Acknowledging how you want to feel in your personal space and who you authentically are.

The Tao Te Ching says "The way takes no action, but leaves nothing undone." This simply means that just by being where you are you will automatically go where you are headed next. Let yourself rest in knowing this and relax. Hold off on requests from the universe for just a minute and see what is already unfolding at your feet. 

People spend a lot of time in my office asking me "Why do I keep attracting this?!" The interesting part of the law of attraction, etc. is that the more we ask that question, the more opportunities we have to answer it with those things we keep attracting. We attract more and more of the things we find so irritating until we figure out why it is we find it irritating, to begin with.

This is a difficult concept for people to get when it comes to the teachings of this manifestation magic. They want to believe they are a victim of their life. Maybe because it is easier than taking full responsibility. Maybe it is because they don't know where to start if they have to think they are the point of focus. Or maybe it has something to do with fitting in with other people who are struggling to manifest the old ways. Whatever the reason people want to reject this idea, is the very reason they are having these experiences.

We often dismiss the whispers. Why? Well, it can be for a variety of reasons, but mostly because we are stuck in one way of being. Until we are ready to adopt a new way of being, we tend to try and stick with our standard plans.

When something comes along and knocks you off of your axis, you tend to throw our arms up and say "why does this always happen to me?" You might try and still cling to the old way of being and responding, making it even harder on yourself and daring the universe to knock you over again. And undoubtedly it will.

I have been a long-time rescuer. Since I was a child I surrounded myself with people in need and offered to help them. I had convinced myself that I was helping everyone. But the truth is I was helping no one and maybe even making it worse. Why? Because I was validating them as a victim. Holding space for their suffering.

Instead, what I could’ve done was hold space for their empowerment. I could have investigated with them, why they were where they are and help them see that they can get themselves out of it. I could have offered them a compassionate witness to their life, rather than seeing them as needing my energy.

I’m glad to say I have begun to learn my lesson. Being an intuitive healer with helping guides helps. They remind me every day that no one is a victim. We are all divinely wise creating our experiences in order to learn.

So how can you tell if you’re empowering someone versus rescuing someone? Here are a few tips I use for myself to keep in alignment with the truth that I can help you grow as an individual, but I can not fix anything for anyone.

I love my job! The conversations I have with the unseen helpers in our lives, always excite me. I am motivated by inspiration, intentions to help and the improvements I see in others.

I am not motivated by the concept of more. Torturing myself to perform unattainable goals set by others, but instead ushering myself into doing even more of what I love. So often I see people motivating themselves through fear or external validation. It keeps them from truly understanding what is theirs to manifest and their intentions are wishy-washy to the universe.

YOUR TRUTH IS ONLY YOURS

To me, we all have a pull to our own truth. A need to identify for ourselves what is and is not for us. We are always being called back to our higher, unified alignment. When we are ready to do it ourselves, your intuition guides you back.

As children, we start off looking at others for the truth but quickly begin to notice that there is a difference between our truth and those around us. It may cause us to rebel, act out, or conform to a way that isn't our true nature.

Don’t be diminished by those around

Start by not diminishing others around you. Even if they are engaging in the shame, blame and judgment as a way to motivate you, don’t play. Go beyond those techniques of manipulation and control and start lifting yourself and other’s up.

If you struggle to do this, that is okay. Start somewhere. Notice that by just setting the mention to drop the need to be right all of the time, shifts your relationships and your life.

Not only do we tell our stories to others, but the stories we tell ourselves are the ones we can get most duped by. First, because we generally don't share our full stories with others we don't get called out on how false they are. Second, the voice we hear loudest is our own. Whatever the story is we tell ourselves, is the story we believe, defend and create in our lives.

Emotions are seemingly the easiest things to share amongst friends; it's almost like a virus. One person feels happy and passes it on to the next and the next and so on. That is ideal... but not always how it goes.

More often, one person in line is angry and yelling at the cashier which puts you in a "what is wrong with people?" mood. This, in turn, may lead to you going home and yelling at your kids, which makes them mad at each other and so on. Emotions are contagious and the sooner we learn to recognize the difference between our emotions and the people we are with, the easier time we will have in knowing ourselves.

It seems like a lifelong process to get past our fears. Fear starts when we are babies and continues through our life, dictating our actions and keeping us stuck in the search for peace from it. Our minds are very powerful and fear can be something that stops our manifesting minds in its tracks.

This current situation is no exception. We are naturally afraid of the unknown and we are in a serious case of “what next?” We are powerful creators and what happens next is unwritten. Now is the time to use our thoughts and energy to manifest our next steps with love.

Good energy hygiene is key to protecting yourself from negative, harmful energies of the world. Working with your subtle energy fields every day can boost your immune system, strengthen your relationships and enhance your daily life. Here are a couple of tips on clearing out your energy, that you can do all on your own, in a matter of minutes.

What are you giving someone else with expectations that they will do something in return? Try asking yourself, “Am I willing to give this, even if they don’t do anything with it?” Try giving things without expectations of anything in return. No strings attached.

Become aware of how often your motives for doing something for someone else, is for something in return. See if you can just give this week without expecting anything back.

In return, when things feel good to give, give more of it and say “Yes, thank you, more please” to the things that you are given and feel good to receive.

For the most part people don’t see you, they see their idea of you, through their own filters of what they are. It is important to remember this when taking feedback from other’s or allowing other people to be the directors of your inner story.

On the flip side, it is also important for you to remember you do it too. Take ownership of your projections as your own inner truth and you have a whole new way of working with subconscious mind. Working with the subconscious mind, helps you see how your reality is being shaped by beliefs that you have, that you don’t even know you are manifesting from.

As far as I can tell, low self-esteem is a real epidemic. People are running around feeling bad about themselves or pretending to be better than others, or both. It causes problems in relationships, anxiety disorders, the inability to make decisions or achieve goals. It brings people to act smug to each other, keep secrets and hold grudges.

Why are we feeling so terrible about ourselves? Don't we all deserve to feel good about ourselves, no matter what anyone else is doing? Let's tackle those insecurities! This is part of that awesome shadow work we could all benefit from doing more of.